Page 65 of His Bride

“Yes, my love?”

“What is wrong?” I do not ask the question casually. I ask it with the intensity and care with which it needs to be asked, and deserves to be answered.

He looks at me for a long moment. “Sometimes I forget that you know me so well,” he sighs. “There are things I cannot tell you. Not because I cannot trust you, but because I have been sworn to the kind of secrecy that threatens the safety of our family.”

I pause for a moment.

“Sounds serious,” I say.

“It is.”

“Why not just tell me anyway,” I suggest, giving him a grin. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

He snorts. “That’s a good question. What is the worst that could happen? I suppose I could be killed, you could be killed, Lydia could be… I can’t even bring myself to say that. There are things in this world that rely on my silence.”

“Do you remember when my mother was giving me grief about the way I don’t fold your socks?”

He frowns slightly in confusion. “Vaguely, why?”

“You told me that nobody would ever hurt me again.”

“Yes.”

“I don’t want anybody to hurt you again either. I want you to stop being so sad.”

“I will get over it,” he tells me.

“No, you won’t. You’ll hide it, and you’ll try to pretend, but it will drive us apart eventually. We are husband and wife. We are parents to a child. We have to share our secrets.”

“We don’t.”

“If you’re going to be sad all the time, then I’m going to be…” I bite my lower lip, trying to think of a threat that might somehow lighten this situation and show him that I can be trusted. “I’m going to be very, very annoying.”

He lifts a brow. “More so than usual?”

Ouch. I can’t be angry at that. I suppose I deserved it. Opened myself up for it.

“All you need to do is continue to be your sweet self,” he says. “Time heals all wounds.”

“I’ve seen your body, so I know it also leaves scars.”

It is his turn to wince at the sharpness of my jibe, though I really did not mean it to be harsh.

I’ve failed in my attempt to broach the subject. Fortunately at that moment, our nursemaid brings the baby in, giving Arthur and me the opportunity to shower her with attention and ignore what is starting to feel increasingly broken between us.

Arthur

I refused to discuss the matter with Mila, and now I do not know where she is. I have noticed that she has been getting up earlier in the morning and going out. She leaves baby Lydia with the nursemaid.

One morning, I wake up as she is sneaking out of bed. It is only three in the morning. I follow her out of the house and downstairs. I am surprised to see that she enters the garrison.Though we moved from the tower, I still keep a small unit here on the property. We need to be well defended by soldiers whose loyalty is proven.

She has been much better behaved with the soldiers since we lost Lydia, but I did not know she was this familiar with them. It seems we have both been keeping our secrets.

I find her in the middle of a circle of three soldiers, training with them. I watch as she wields a sword. She is a novice, but there is a fierceness and a drive that shows she has made quick progress already, and will continue to make more. The soldiers she is working with are all women, and they are all well seasoned. None of them is as good as Lydia was, but I know all of them would make the same sacrifice she did if they were called to.

As I watch, I think about loyalty, how it can be so beautiful and so destructive at the same time. I think about what I have been loyal to, and why. And I watch my young wife do her best to become what she believes she needs to be.

I do not interrupt, not until the session ends. As the soldiers file out, I take hold of her and pull her into the same shadows in which I was lurking. I am sure they all knew I was there, and I am equally sure they all assumed that if I was not stopping them, they should not stop. They were right.

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