Page 28 of Mated

“You’re tired,” he says. “And you’re going to bed. I have to handle pack business, so I will not be able to nap with you yet, and I am going to lock this door, because I do not want anyone coming in to see you without me, and I certainly do not want you getting out.”

“Is it not safe here?”

“It is safe enough, but this is a place of powerful forces for our kind. There is history in the terrain, and in the pack themselves that you have no knowledge of. I want you by my side when we are in public until you properly understand the lay of the land. Understood?”

I nod quickly. “Understood.”

Left to my own devices, I go to bed.

It’s the easiest way to avoid having to think about what is happening to me, or where I am, or who I am or anything of thatnature. I hope that by the time I wake up, he will be there with me and I won’t feel so odd or out of place.

My plan fails.

When I wake up, I’m not entirely sure what time of day or night it is. There’s a lot of light coming in the window, but it’s not a warm glow. It is more of a silvery shine. It must be late at night. I sit up and look around. Cain is not in the room.

A pang of loneliness and anxiety gets me out of bed. I don’t like being alone in an environment this strange. Day before last, I was hoping to make enough money to not have to sleep in my car. Now, I’m alone in the grandest bedroom I’ve ever imagined. I should be thrilled, but it’s all so strange. Everything has happened so swiftly that I barely know what to think about it. It would have been one thing to date my boss, but I fucked him on the first day and then turned into a wolf, and… wait. Am I just having some kind of meltdown? Like a mental break? Did the stress of being fired snap something inside me that has been pulled taut for years?

I go to the window and look out. The sight of the rest of the fortress and the grounds and the walls beyond them makes me feel like a princess in a fairytale.

“This is nice,” I say to myself. “This is a good thing. It’s weird, but it is okay. I’m going to be okay. I’ve always been okay. I was alright before this, and I will be alright after this.”

This is the mantra that has kept me sane for years, through a bunch of things nobody should ever really have to live through.

I just need fresh air and to breathe. I’m already doing one of those things, and the window provides the other.

I stand in the shaft of the moon glow and feel my skin prickling ever so slightly. There’s a part of me that freaks out at the sensation. It’s far stronger than anything I’ve felt before just from standing in a window, and the paranoid part of my mind wonders if I am somehow allergic.

Then I realize that there is fur growing out of my forearms.

I’m shifting.

I didn’t start it, and I don’t know how to stop it.

I try to call for Cain, or anybody, but my mouth has already begun to elongate, becoming a muzzle. My body is growing more powerful and larger, and my mind is… well, my mind is feeling much, much better, because wolves apparently don’t have the same capacity to ruminate that I do.

Before I know it, I’m jumping out the window. There is a ledge below, which makes this fun and not suicidal. My senses are heightened, as is my hunger. I want something sweet, and I want it now.

I move down the outside of the building, jumping from ledge to ledge until I hit a roof. If I were to do this as a person, I’d be breaking all my weak, stupid human joints, but as a wolf, all the inner parts of me flex with strength and power, easily absorbing the impact. I can smell food everywhere. This place is absolutely packed with all manner of freshly cooked dishes, mostly of meat.

I can also smell other wolves. The scent of the pack is strong, in both human and beast form. I have already decided that I am going to avoid them. Their smells are unfamiliar and frightening to me. They are predators, after all. And it’s not that I am prey, but I am not part of their pack. The same senses that tell me to get food are telling me that they are dangerous to me.

I can’t just wander around this place smelling like an intruder. They’ll be onto me instantly. Fortunately, nature provides. There is a pond, one rich with weeds and fish and ducks and other things that smell a lot more than I do. I dive into it without hesitation, splashing around at the edges of the pond and collecting all the rich smelling stuff that has been festering on the edges.

I emerge, shake myself off, and am deeply satisfied with my new scent. Nobody is going to know that I’m here. They’re going to think they’re near a pond, which probably won’t arouse nearly as much suspicion.

I still try my best to avoid directly meeting anybody. Even though my scent is covered, their eyes will still work if they see me. I’ll be busted. I have a faint memory of Cain telling me not to leave the room, but that was when I was in my human form, and he was technically talking about the door. The thoughts pass through my mind swiftly and without too much consequence. In my wolf form, I just do stuff. I follow instinct and impulse, and both of those things feel great.

I sneak around through arches and doorways, following my nose. Every now and then I catch a brief whiff of something sweet, and also the scent of my mate. He’s here. I want to get to him, and I want to get to an ice cream cake. Is there an ice cream cake? There might be.

I pad through the shadows quietly, catching snippets of conversation here and there. Most of them don’t sound that interesting. General chit-chat, gossip about people I don’t know, small talk about the weather and hunting conditions. Maybe I’d find it interesting if I was a human, but as a wolf, I just don’t care. At least, I don’t care until I hear a voice.

“This is a complete waste of time. I don’t care what they say. Cain doesn’t have a mate, and if he does, it’s not some random domestic dilute who appeared out of nowhere a couple of days ago.”

There’s a round of laughter.

“She’s adomesticated dilute?” An amused voice full of barely veiled outrage responds with a derisive laugh. “He’s brought us a fucking pet dog?”

More laughter.

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