Page 114 of The Fiance Dilemma

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a blond bob approaching, before being intercepted by someone. My sister. Soft hands were on me. “Josie.” Adalyn’s face. Her eyes. Sharp and filled with concern. I pulled away, feeling too overwhelmed. Feeling like I was going to implode. “Josie, you’re scaring me. You’re crying, and you need to breathe, please.Please.Do that for me? I know it feels too big right now, too hard, but you can do it. You can do this.”

I can’t.

I couldn’t.

I couldn’t do this.

I was always a bride.

“Matthew,”came out of me with a sob. I pulled at my hand, as if my body had gone on automatic. Nothing was coming out, but something had to. Something must. “I want Matthew. I need—I need Matthew.”

Adalyn stood up, and without her support I felt myself curl into a ball.

“Someone get Matthew,” she shouted.“Now.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

“Where is she?”

Matthew’s voice came from outside the dressing room.

I didn’t know how much time had passed. Seconds, minutes? It didn’t seem long enough for me to collect myself enough to make it out and face everyone.Anyone who isn’t him.It didn’t seem long enough for my voice not to betray me if I called for him again.

“If you just let me—” Charleene started.

“Where’s Josie?” Matthew asked in that deep, seemingly calm tone that made his face look unnaturally hard. “I don’t fucking care about some bullshit tradition.” His voice broke. “She asked for me.”

“But sir, she’s only a little overwhelmed. It happens all the time. I’ll help her out of the gown—”

“Where is my fiancée?”

Matthew’s voice had me scrambling off the couch where I’d curled up. I braced a hand on the back, standing up, but a new voice stopped me.

“I’m sure everything’s fine, Matthew.” Andrew was here? How? Ibecame very still. “Let’s not be dramatic and cause more of a scene. There are enough people outside now and they can see everything through the window. If Josie—”

“Excuse me, Andrew, but you don’t know shit,” Matthew answered. “You haven’t made the effort to know. You haven’t earned the right to reassure anyone. So moveaside.”

There was a beat of silence.

“Dad,”a voice warned.Adalyn.“Just let him through. What are you even doing? Let him pass and let’s go wait somewhere else.”

Steps followed my sister’s question, then the door in front of me flew open.

I felt my heart stop for a second before resuming that overwhelming pace.

“Josie,” Matthew murmured under his breath, frozen, except for his eyes, which bounced all over me. He looked so immediately heartbroken, so devastated, for just an instant. Then gone. “Josie, baby.”

A sob exploded out of me. As if yanked by those two words. Him, being with me.

There was a click of a door and then Matthew was suddenly with me. He picked me up, placing me against his chest. The kind of warmth that only he could provide blanketed over me, soaking my skin, body, making more tears trickle down. More sobs come out. More hurt break and burst out.

“I’m here, baby,” Matthew’s words were murmured into my ear. “I’m here now. I’m here with you. I’m not going anywhere.” His words only made me cry harder, struggle for more air. Matthew’s body was rocked by a shiver. A tremor. Or maybe it was just me. “You need to tell me what to do,” he whispered. That soothing murmur turning into a desperate plea. “Tell me what to do to make this better.”

My right hand was clasped around the fingers of my left,unknowingly pulling and tugging, and if the sight hadn’t shattered my heart the way it did, my words would. “I can’t—” I stuttered. “Can’t do this, Matthew.” A new wave of hurt and tears made me breathless for a second. I raised my hands, showing him my left hand. The skin was red, swollen. He made a strange sound. “It’s all backward. I can’t get it off. It’s hurting.”

A pained expression crossed Matthew’s face. One moment it was there and then it was gone.

But God, I hated myself all the same.

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