Page 63 of The Fiance Dilemma

MATTHEW:Because you left me on read. Because you’re drinking. Because I’m worried. Because you didn’t ask “who’s there?” and that tells me you’re really not okay. Because you didn’t ask me to stay with you tonight.

Everything in me softened, melted, broke.Because you didn’t ask me to stay with you tonight.And I had no choice but to ease back into the water and take a deep breath.

JOSIE:I’m sorry.

JOSIE:I didn’t want to leave you on read.

JOSIE:But you can drop the car keys and slip back into bed. If Grandpa catches a boy sneaking into the house at this hour, I can’t be responsible for what he’ll do.

MATTHEW:I’m your fiancé.

MATTHEW:Not a boy.

I didn’t answer. Not right away. I didn’t know how. Not when my eyes were caught on one specific word and I was feeling this… way.

JOSIE:Knock knock.

I held my breath, waiting. And when his text came, I smiled, a little relieved. It was a small one, probably a sad one too, but it still felt like a reprieve.

MATTHEW:Who’s there?

JOSIE:Dwayne.

MATTHEW:Dwayne who?

JOSIE:Dwayne the wine and the bathtub, I’m drowning! Glug glug.

MATTHEW:That’s not really reassuring me.

I chuckled. I thought it was pretty funny. But just as it came, it went away, both the sentiment and my smile dying off, leaving me… back in the same place.

JOSIE:Tonight was weird. I’m sorry.

MATTHEW:I don’t want or need an apology, Josie.

JOSIE:What do you want or need, then?

MATTHEW:Don’t ask for something you’re not ready to hear.

JOSIE:That’s a good line. Kinda hot.

MATTHEW:I’m finally being noticed, yay.

JOSIE:I’ve always noticed you, Matthew.

When his response took a few moments to come, I shifted in the tub, wanting to take that back.

MATTHEW:Talk to me, Baby Blue. Please?

The nickname caught me off guard. It was almost as if I could see him, hear him saying those words. That concern shining in the brown of his eyes, making it darken, just like it had earlier tonight. I started to type, and suddenly I couldn’t stop.

JOSIE:I don’t want to talk. I locked my phone in a drawer when I got home because I was scared you’d ask me to explain myself. Ask if I was fine. How I felt. But how I feel right now isn’t important. Not in the big scheme of things. So it’s not what I want to be thinking about right now. Because then I’ll think of everything else. Like the reason why I ran that day, or all the other times I was a coward and ruined things, just like I might be ruining everything now, and I’ll be left with nothing. With no one.So no. I don’t want to talk. We’ll dissect the absolute wreck that I am tomorrow. You can fix me some other day. But not today. Not tonight. And not after you called me Baby Blue like that.

MATTHEW:Josie.

MATTHEW:You’re important.

MATTHEW:You have me.

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