Page 30 of The Fiance Dilemma

But before we could voice any of that, Bobbi was back, face grim and words even grimmer.

“We have a problem.”

INTERIOR—FILTHY REALI-TEASTUDIO—DAY

SAM: Why are you vibrating with excitement? (laughs)

NICK: (screeches) That’s because I’m in a complete tizzy.

SAM: I can’t wait to hear what you brought us today, then.

NICK: (pause, then rushes out) Everyone has been blowing up our comment section—on all platforms—demanding to know more about a certain girlie and her daddy. SO…without further ado, I am pleased to bring you, Sammy, and our Reali-tiers, our newFilthyseries, the one, the— Oh wait. Can I please get a drumroll? Do we have audio effects? Is that a—

(Drumroll sound)

NICK: Oh wow. (chuckles) I didn’t know we had that. Look at us being so fancy. Or the opposite maybe, that was a little too radio for me. All right, anyway, let me get back on track. Drumroll please? (drumroll sound) (pitch increases) I’m honored to present you and our listeners our new series:THE UNDERWOOD AFFAIR.

SAM: Shocker! (claps) And you didn’t tell me any of this? Rude.

NICK: Keeping the secret almost unalived me, believe me. But it was so worth it. Because we’ve got lots of new-sies and I get to see your face while I tell you about them. (calculated pause) And you do, too, by the way. Remember to check our pod recordings in vid format on any platform if you haven’t. And subscribe, for the love of Harry Styles. Click that button.

SAM: Thanks for that Nick. BUT. For context… We’re talking about Small-Town Princess, right? Abandoned by Rich Daddy, on her quest to serve revenge, one heart at a time—tally is high. Which we support, by the way. We support women’s rights and we cheer for women’s wrongs. We don’t support men, for the most part. Specifically Andrew Underwood. And excluding all our short kings.

NICK: That was an excellent summary. And yes to short kings. But we were calling her Small-Town Heiress, not princess. Which brings me to… The new-sies. It’s taken us a lot of work, BUT: one of our little birdies has confirmed that—brace yourself—our babygirl is… ENGAGED. AGAIN.

SAM: Shut up. This makes it… the fifth.

NICK: That we know of. (chuckles) And apparently, in a shocking turn of events, Rich Daddy is paying for the wedding? We don’t have all the deets, but our source said there seems to be a rekindlement of the relationship and both are (lowers voice) blessed to plan and celebrate such a special event together.

SAM: Sounds like PR BS to me (clicks tongue). And rekindlement of what? Was there a relationship?

NICK: I know, right? That’s what I thought too.

SAM: Huh. I wonder how she feels about this. I wonder if he’ll just throw money at it from his mansion or actually get involved. Have we—

NICK: Found her socials and messaged her? Yes. No response. But we’re persistent. And you know what was the strangest thing?

SAM: That it wasn’t set to private? (incredulous chortle)

NICK: Besides that. I mean, someone should have advised her a little better, I guess. But the strangest thing was thatthere was no trace of her new man. Just farm animals, pottery, shots of sunsets, and a really cool picture of her doing yoga. Girlie has the moves, FYI. What I suspect she doesn’t have is… a lot of interest for this new man if she hasn’t posted him at all.

SAM: Are you thinking the same thing I am?

NICK: You know I like conventionally ugly men. They put in the work. I’d show them off. And the bigger the nose, the better the man, by the way.

SAM: (hums) You aren’t wrong. But I was thinking… why would she have him up anyway? It must be so annoying to delete old posts that include the fiancé of the year. Messes with the aesthetic. Oh, speaking of that: Do we have names? Of the fiancé and the exes? Besides the one we talked to. Derek? Dawson? And— Oh my God, could we bring them to the pod? That would be—

NICK: Wouldn’t that be ah-mazing, sweet Sammy? (secretive chuckle) For now, I’ll just say that you and our listeners will have to wait until the first episode inThe Underwood Affairto find out. This was just a teaser. And as always, let us know in the comments what you think—not that you need any encouragement to speak up, youFilthycreatures.

For the fifth time in my life, there was a man on his knee in front of me.

It was like the sickest kind of déjà vu. Because he wasn’t proposing. He never had. But we were engaged. Officially. To the town of Green Oak, but also to the world now. The internet. The gossip-sphere. Something I never thought I’d be part of. Not even when I was with Ricky or Duncan, and they both led lifestyles that related to the public eye.

Apparently it had taken a little more than professional soccer or politics to launch thissmall-town heiress, not princessinto the gossip-sphere. It had taken a different kind of man. My father.

“AND CUT!”

The two words echoed through the Vasquezes’ property, startling me and the man at my feet. Bobbi stomped in our direction, moving gravel as she went.

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