Page 115 of The Fiance Dilemma

Then something else was replacing that. I didn’t know what, but slowly, gently, he wrapped his fingers around my wrist. He brought my hand up, until the tips of my fingers brushed his lips. My crying subsided, my breath easing at the contact. He pressed a kiss on my palm, his eyes closing for a moment. Then another one on my knuckles. Then a third, right above the beautiful ring that was making me hurt so bad and hurting him in return. His head lowered, chin touching his chest and gaze meeting mine again. There was a storm behind that beautiful shade of brown as he let his lips close around my finger. A whimper left me, and Matthew’s whole body shuddered in response. I felt his tongue on my skin, then gently, firmly, his teeth were locking around the band.

He pulled.

A strange and powerful tide rolled over me as I felt the ring being dragged along my finger with his teeth. And even as his eyes flared with an emotion I didn’t want to look at too closely. I felt… relief.

Matthew spat the ring into his palm, his eyes not leaving me.

Something broke at the sight. Whatever had been put together a heartbeat ago, crumbling down again.

I felt my lip quiver. My whole body did. “I don’t want to hurt you,” I told him.

“That’s all right, Baby Blue,” he murmured before kissing mytemple. His voice sounded broken, his arms solid and tight around me. “So what if it hurts a little? I’ll hurt if it makes you better.”

But that wasn’t all right.

It really wasn’t.

I moved in his lap, that ugliness in me festering. My hands fisted the fabric of his shirt. “You shouldn’t say that,” I told him. “You should be mad.”

A muscle in his jaw jumped. “No, I shouldn’t.”

My hold on his clothes tightened. My voice coming out coarse. Mean. “I just told you I can’t do this. I can’t walk down that aisle. I can’t make vows. I can’t say I do. I—I can’t wear your ring. This is what I always do, don’t you see?” I let out a breath, emotion overtaking my voice. “Last night changed everything. I know you feel the same. How can you not be mad? How are you not leaving me?”

Matthew’s hands closed around my waist, and he rearranged me so I was straddling him. My gown moved around me, over him, and I felt so… bizarre. So strange. So out of place. This was the gown I’d never wear, the man I wasn’t marrying, this position fitting a wedding night we’d never have.

“Because I only ever wanted you, Josie,” he said, meeting my eyes. “Not the wedding, not the big party. You.”

I gave my head one sharp shake. “I don’t understand. Why would you want me after this?”

“Why would I not?”

The thrumming doubled. “Because I made you tag along. Because I just pushed you away. Because I want to turn around your ring but I can’t. I— Because I knew it’d hurt you, and I still asked you to take it off my finger.”

“Yet I’m here. With my arms around you, not going anywhere. What else?”

What else?“Because I’m a mess. I broke down at my reflection in a wedding dress. I have a reputation, baggage, issues. I complicatethings unnecessarily. I might be incapable of ever getting married. I—” I shook my head. “Haven’t you heard? I might break your heart, Matthew. Polls say more than fifty percent chance.”

“You can try. Won’t work, though.”

Indignation bubbled up. “Why not?”

“Because with you, I’m unbreakable.”

A strange sob climbed up my throat.

“Because you can’t push me away.” His arms pulled my body even closer to him, and when his palm closed around the side of my face, his gaze sharpened with something that danced between anger and need. “Not this easily.” His throat worked before kissing me. The press of his lips was hard and fast. “Certainly not without a fight.”

I returned his kiss, my lips now rough against his. I parted his mouth and brushed his tongue with mine. “Prove it,” I whispered, tugging at his shirt, bringing myself closer into his chest. “Show me you mean this. Show me that you’ll stay.”

The quality of Matthew’s eyes changed, darkening. His voice lowered. “Don’t ask for things you don’t really mean.”

I brought myself up on my knees, pulling at the layers of the skirt until I moved them all out of the way. Then I made sure I was staring right into his eyes when I let my hips roll against his before dropping my weight against the pulsing length I could feel through his pants.

Matthew hissed a breath. “You’re upset.”

I rolled my hips a second time, the violent shudder rocking my body, making me struggle for words. “I am. Over the idea of losing you.”

There was a moment of hesitation, then his hands were sneaking under the gown, his fingers digging into my skin with barely there restraint. He locked me in place. “You want me to fuck you in this dress, Josie? Is that how you want me to show you?”

---