Page 16 of Burn With Me

This is also a comfortable topic. It’s personal but not directly about me, and I can talk about this all day.

“That sounds exciting. Did you always plan to start small and grow, or did you think you were going to build a big farm and then grow into it?”

My response is easy because this was something I thought long and hard about once my grant was approved. “If you would have asked me when I first started planning, I would have said I wanted to build big and grow into it. However, when it came down to it, I didn’t want to overwhelm myself with a lot of empty space. After I moved to town, I met with a contractor who thankfully saw my vision, and between the two of us, we designed the first building a specific way so we can add on at least three more times.” I pause and take a deep breath. “Actually, I’m excited to think that I’m going to be adding on sooner than I originally anticipated. Luckily, the local business owners were so excited about fresh, local produce and fish they could get at a decent price and that I was willing to try different methods to grow various things to fit their needs. Sorry, I’m rambling,” I say quickly, thinking he doesn’t really care about how my business is doing. I start nervously looking around the diner.

“No, don’t apologize. It’s refreshing to hear someone excited about what they do. Is this something you’ve always been interested in?” he asks as our server walks up to our table.

“Hi! I’m Antonella! Sorry about your wait. What can I get you to drink?” our server asks and looks at me. “Oh! Hi, Amelia. I didn’t realize it was you! How are you doing?”

“I’m good, Ant! How are you?”

“I’m doing great, thanks!” she says, and we give her our orders.

“This’ll be out in a jiffy.”

“Thanks,” I say as she walks away.

“So, what brought you to Griffin’s Den?” Luke asks.

Shit, I don’t know how to answer that.

Info dumping that I had a shitty ex-boyfriend and I picked a grant that would get me the farthest away from him is an instinct I have to fight. Regardless of what I said to Pam, this is very much like a first date, and I’m not sure how I feel about it. I wasn’t expecting it to be so easy to talk to him.

Tapping my fingers on my leg as I gather my thoughts, I respond with the abridged version.

“Well, I was living in Washington, DC, for school and then work and realized quickly that the big-city life just wasn’t for me. It was around the same time my ex and I broke up, and it just kind of all fell into place, even though it was unexpected. The grant is what brought me to New Mexico, but after some research, I knew Griffin’s Den was where I was meant to be. COVID, in an odd way, helped me because construction had just finished as everything started to close down, so I was able to get everything set up, grow some crops, and establish some fish by the time I could start marketing in person,” I say honestly. “What about you? What made you want to come here?”

Holding eye contact, he doesn’t say anything for a moment, and I don’t know how to feel with his attention fully on me.

Finally, he breaks his silence. “I love what I do and was lucky that I knew pretty quickly that I wanted to be a firefighter. Kind of like you, I realized I was burned out on the big-city life, and it didn’t help that the firehouse we worked at was going to shit. I didn’t want to work with people who I didn’t trust to have my back. Sam told me about the job openings, and we jumped at the opportunity to interview. He took the lieutenant position, and I took one that will be shadowing one of the local fire investigators, which is awesome because I’m passionate about the fire investigation side of things. It’s not something I could pursue easily in Boston. So it was an easy choice, even though moving across the country was a pain in the ass.”

“Agreed. Moving sucks, and I was glad to find my house when I did. As a fire investigator, would you do more desk work versus front-line work?” I ask, and before he can answer, our food comes out.

“Here’s your food. Let me know if you need anything else,” Antonella says and walks away.

My stomach rumbles as I pick up my napkin. I moan as I take the first bite because, as usual, it’s perfect. A chuckle from across the table reminds me I’m not alone, and my face turns red.

“It’s nice to be out with a woman who appreciates food,” he says. “To answer your question, I’ll do both. It’s a small enough department that I could be both a fire investigator and work the fires as well.”

I nod because I understand wanting to do all aspects of the job you enjoy.

We make small talk while we eat, and I find myself relaxing enough to realize we have a lot in common. I’m actually enjoying myself, and I’m secretly glad that Pam, Sam, and Luna backed out—for real or on purpose—even though I’ll go to my grave with that information. Soon we’re both done eating, and Antonella is back with the check. I’m hit with sadness that our evening is coming to an end.

“Thanks, Antonella. As always, the food was amazing,” I say as I go to grab the check. Luke reaches for the check with his card in hand. “Absolutely not. This was supposed to be for you helping me with the farmers’ market this past weekend. It’s my treat.”

“You don’t have to pay for me, Amelia. It’s our first date. I helped this weekend because I wanted to, not so you had to owe me something. How about you get the ice cream after this?” he says, and I just look at him, trying to decide whether I should push back or not.

“Date? This isn’t a date. Our friends backed out on us, so yes, I can pay for dinner since you helped me. Also, what if I was full and wanted to go home and didn’t want to get ice cream?” I say, moving my hand to let him take the check, but give him my bestI’m not happy but I don’t want to make a sceneglare.

“Then I would let you go home but ask when I could see you again,” he says casually with a half smile.

After we slide out of the booth, I look up at him. “Fine. Ice cream sounds great, and I know just the place on the way back to Joe and Ann’s place, but for the record, this isn’t a date.” I stop and think about what I just said and how it sounded, and I quickly add when he chuckles, “I didn’t mean I was going back to your cabin with you because I’m not, but it’s on the way for you to go back alone . . .”

“I knew what you meant,” he says and then leans down, and I feel his breath by my ear. “When you’re ready, you’ll always be welcome to come home with me, willingly,” he whispers, and I shiver at the effect this man has on my body.

I do my best to seem unaffected as we walk to the hostess stand so Luke can pay for dinner before walking out of the diner.

It’s been five years since I’ve been even kind of attracted to someone who wasn’t a book boyfriend, and I’m not sure how to handle all these feelings coursing through my body.

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