Page 14 of Burn With Me

“I’m all ears.” I’m not above asking for help; I’m so out of my comfort zone.

I’ve never felt this need to get to know someone, but I have a feeling that not taking this risk and putting myself out there could be a mistake. So, as I back out of the parking spot and head toward Pam’s house, I listen to her plan.

Six

Ameila

Iturn onto Main Street and check the time. I start to panic at how close I’m cutting it to when I’m supposed to meet everyone for dinner. I got caught up at work going over some contracts before tomorrow, and I had to drop Penny off at home because as much as I would love to bring her everywhere, I can’t bring her to the diner where we’re all meeting. My phone rings, and when I look at my screen, I see it’s Pam.

“I’m so sorry I’m running late. I lost track of time and had to drop Penny off, and I had to feed her and turn on her favorite show. I’m close though,” I blurt out before she can even get a word in.

“Take a breath, bitch. That’s why I’m calling. Something happened with Sam’s moving truck, so he and I won’t be able to make it, and since we were Luna’s ride, she won’t be there either,” she says casually.

“Oh, well, I can just go home, then. Maybe get caught up on some reading I’ve been wanting to do,” I say, ignoring the fact that I know she missed one person’s name in our group.

Nerves flutter in my stomach, not because this is a date, but because it feels like a setup.

She’s setting me up on a date.

I refuse to think it’s a date, but other than business meetings, I haven’t been out socially with just a man in five years.

“No can do. We tried to cancel with Luke, but he’s already there. You have to go because if you don’t, that would be rude. He did help you on his last day off before starting his new job.”

“Pamela . . .” I growl into the phone.

My anxiety rises as I start spiraling. Tapping my fingers on the steering wheel, I feel my skin start to crawl, and anxious thoughts start to bombard my head.

Coincidentally, I talked to my therapist about Luke this morning.

She says I should embrace it and be happy that I’m actually attracted to someone again. That the walls I’ve built are ready to come down, if only I’m brave enough to let them and allow myself to be truly happy with myself and someone else. I hate how honest she is, but that’s why she’s a great therapist for me. She calls me out on my bullshit almost as much as Pam does, and like a grown adult, I roll my eyes at her because Iamhappy.

I don’t know why people keep saying that to me.

I’ve grown so much in the four years I’ve been seeing her. I’ve learned a lot about myself and who I want to be and what I want in a relationship. A relationship I’m nowhere near ready for, no matter how drool-worthy of a male specimen he is, or even how nice he is, or how genuine he was about learning what I do.

A breath of air feels stuck in my chest as it starts to tighten.

“Amelia! You need to take a breath and stop overthinking,” Pam says as I pull up to a red light.

Shaking my thoughts from my head, I realize I zoned out for the rest of the drive as I see the Atomic Diner just past the light. Pam is lucky I’m craving one of their burgers, which will be the excuse I use to not murder Pam in her sleep.

“I’m fine. Well, I’m not fine yet, but I know what you’re doing, and the only reason I’m going is because Luke is already there, and I promised dinner for helping,” I say firmly and turn into the parking lot and find a spot.

“It’ll be okay, I promise. Call me when you’re leaving, and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, you whore,” she says, laughing.

“You’re a bitch,” I say and end the call, setting my phone down.

Taking a deep breath, I scan the parking lot.

I can do this—socialize with someone I don’t really know. I’m an adult and can do hard things because I’m strong and likable.

My breath catches when I see him get out of his truck.

Goddamn, he’s good looking.

Maybe I can’t do this.

Much like yesterday, he’s wearing fitted, well-worn jeans, but instead of a T-shirt, today he has on a button-down shirt with his sleeves rolled up. My breathing picks up for a different reason as I realize I’m not ready for this at all.

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