Page 58 of Off Script

Tristan stumbled to his car in a daze, still wondering what his mother wanted.She must be dying. That’s the only explanation.It was a morbid, sardonic thought but it filled him with a fear he hadn’t felt in quite some time. He wasn’t ready to bury another parent. But he also wasn’t ready to face her, just to hear he had to do so. Whatever her real reasons were for wanting reconciliation, Tristan’s silence was the only thing he could offer her in return.

Although Jada’s first evening in Palm Springs ended on a somewhat sour note, the rest of the trip went much better. Saturday consisted of various panels and workshops that she and Mikayla devoured, from sessions on how to brand yourself to battling harassment and discrimination. Jada might have been in the industry for a while now, but it was still a great feeling to come together with such a vast number of women all hustling to achieve their dreams. Alia had been part of an opening panel and Q & A on Saturday, but Mikayla and Jada really got to cheer her on during the Breaking into Television event on Sunday. Back in the resort’s large ballroom, Jada and Mikayla sat in the front row, ready to flash Alia a thumbs-up or supportive spirit fingers as needed.

At the long panel table, three other women flanked Alia. Jada barely had to consult the convention brochure she’d been given to identify them. Kamila Rahal, from the mixer, was there, as well as Dania Cruz, known for her family dramas. Unfortunately for Jada, Jackie Fox, the showrunner who hadn’t cast Jada because of her hair, was also on the panel. Self-consciously, Jada double-checked for unwanted frizz or flyaways and instantly hated herself for it. All weekend long she’d been hearing pep talks about believing in yourself, and yet she couldn’t shake the need to fit into outrageous beauty standards. SinceLove Lockethad ended, Jada had dyed her hair back to a midnight-black shade. A part of her wondered if that would make her stand out to Jackie. But most likely, the woman had already forgotten who Jada was.

The moderator for the panel, former soap opera star Rashida Jackson, tapped the microphone to gather everyone’s attention.

“Hi, everyone! I hope you have been enjoying WIE weekend so far. This afternoon, we’ve gathered some truly inspiring ladies to talk about their career journeys in television, and how you can work to forge your own path.”

Enthusiastic applause followed as each woman gave a self-introduction. Mikayla made sure to throw in an extraloud whoop as Alia’s turn came up. Alia didn’t let them down, her words as eloquent as always.

“Good afternoon, everyone. I’m the showrunner forUnboundand have worked on past fan favorites likeFallen Creatures.Despite my success, my journey as a writer and creator has been full of ups and downs. I’m looking forward to talking to you guys about them, and how resiliency and faith in yourself is key for breaking into the industry.”

“That’s a great point, Alia. I couldn’t agree more,” Jackie Fox spoke up, then launched into her own spiel. “Welcome, everyone. I’m Jackie Fox, creator of thrillers likeMurder Me SweetlyandEyes on You. I also wanted to say I’m so sorry I couldn’t be here for the earlier part of the conference. I was working on my upcoming show,Deadly Intentions.”

That explained why Jada hadn’t seen her before this event. Noting the woman’s bubbly excitement over her new project, Jada remembered seeing the announcement of who had been chosen for the show. Bailey Burke, frequently cast as the blond cheerleader or girl-next-door type, had secured the role Jada had tried out for. Still, Jada stomped down any lingering bitterness because there was no point in holding on to this grudge. For all she knew, the other girl truly had done a better job at her audition. Maybe Jada simply hadn’t been good enough this time. But since the only real note they’d given her before sending her out the door was an implied “grow your hair out,” Jada found placing the blame solely on herself hard to swallow.

Either way, Jada chose to put her negative experience with Jackie on the back burner and focus on the other panelists. Each of them had great insight into their struggles to be seen in the writers’ room and what their shows meant to them in terms of finally having a voice and better representation. When they reached the Q & A portion of the event, attendees were bursting to ask the accomplished set a plethora of burning questions. In particular, Jada noticed Casey about to jump out of her seat as she waved her hand vigorously. Luckily for her, Rashida called on her before the girl could pass out from the anticipation. Grabbing the offered microphone, she leaped to her feet.

“This is more of a general question for all of you. I really want to be an actress, but also write as well. But so many people have told me you can’t do both and you have to start out with just one thing. What do you say to those people who don’t think you can have it all?”

Hmm, not as awful a question as Jada had predicted. At least it was on topic and not asking about the showrunners’ personal lives.

“I think it’s worthwhile to have certain things you want to aim for. And starting out with a particular track will keep you focused. However, there are plenty of creators who manage to do several things at once really well. I mean, look at Issa Rae or Robin Thede for example,” Dania pointed out.

“Yes, but it takes time, experience, and a lot of trial and error, to get to that kind of level,” Jackie interjected. “It doesn’t happen overnight, so be ready to encounter some setbacks and know there’s a learning curve you’ll have to adjust to.”

“Thank you, Jackie Downer,” Jada grumbled.

Honestly, they both made good points, but since the conference was about lifting women up, Jackie could have put less Simon Cowell in her response. Alia pulled the Paula Abdul card, swooping in with some final words of encouragement.

“All of these are good points. What you’re striving to do, Casey, is certainly a lot of work and there will be a learning curve, but we’ve all been there. I’m not an actress but I know what it’s like to have big ambitions and experience the same worries. But no matter how much opposition you face, at the end of the day, you’re the only one who can decide what you’re capable of and how hard you’ll work to achieve your goals.”

On that much better note, Casey thanked them all for their advice, and the panel soon drew to a close. As the crowd dispersed, Jada and Mikayla went up to Alia.

“Fantastic job as always,” Jada said, squeezing her hand.

“Thanks. I’m free for the rest of the afternoon, until the closing ceremony this evening. How about we grab lunch and maybe hit up the spa?”

“Yes, please! And actually, I suggest spa first.” Mikayla raised her hand. Any of her downtime this weekend had been spent chilling in mud baths and getting more massages from the skillful and buff massage therapist Roland. Jada had stopped by for a facial and a manicure but had not been as thorough as her cousin.

“You’re saying no to food?” Alia raised her eyebrows in shock.

“They have mint water and cucumber sandwiches down there. We’ll live,” Mikayla insisted.

Since her own stomach wasn’t grumbling yet, Jada shrugged. “I’m good with that.”

“Okay, fine. I’ll meet you guys down there in twenty.” Alia had a commitment to hang back for a while to speak to attendees who were clamoring for her attention.

As Jada turned to exit the ballroom with Mikayla, she found Jackie Fox staring at her (and pointedly ignoring the other guests who had come up to speak to her). Walking toward them, she offered Jada an inviting smile.

“Do I know you? You look familiar.”

“Hi, Jackie. We have met. I auditioned to play Monica.”

“Ah, yes! Jada Berklee.” Jackie snapped her fingers at pinning down the recognition. “How are you?”

Jada wanted to say she was booked solid for the next year, and no longer even thought about that audition or the creator’s thinly veiled remark. But the only thing she had lined up was a callback for Logan’s movie after her first audition a few days ago.

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