Page 29 of A Twisted Gift

This is all Father’s fault.

Losing Erik hurt me in a way I never thought I’d recover from. I always assumed he moved on, mostly because it hurt too much to think that he was possibly suffering as much as I was. Hearing the pain in his voice—thepanic—breaks something inside me. Whatever leftover shreds of love I still had for Father fall away, and in its place, a rage that’s stayed hidden deep inside of me roars to life.

I hate him.

Erik mumbles something into my skin that sounds likethank youbefore pulling back. “I think I’ll be all right,” he says shakily. “Normally I’m able to calm myself down enough to sleep again. I… I don’t want to keep you up. I’m sorry.”

Normally?

“How often does this happen?”

“Every night.” Erik rubs at his face. “They aren’t typically this bad. I guess tonight is different because…”

“Because what?”

He shakes his head. “Nothing.”

“Erik.” My hands find their way to his cheeks, gently framing his face. “Tell me.”

“You haunted me,” he whispers. “Sometimes the thought of you was so strong that I couldn’t focus on anything else. Half the time I thought you were made up, but the other half… god, the other half. I was terrified for you, worried that Charles was hurting you, that you were dead, or that he was doing horrible things to you.”

Sometimes I feel dead.But I keep that thought to myself. Even though he’s the one who saved me, Erik’s words are soaked with guilt. I don’t want to put him in more pain.

“Losing you once ruined me, Raina,” he says quietly. “If I lose you again…”

“No. You said Father won’t find me here. You said you’d keep me safe from him.”

“I will. Always.”

“Then you don’t have anything to worry about. You won’t let him take me away.”

“There’s more than one way to lose someone,” he murmurs.

The fear in his eyes feels different now—like he’s afraidI’llhurt him somehow. But how could I when he’s all I’ve wanted for so long?

“Can’t lose you,” he mumbles, leaning into me. I almost don’t make out the words because of how exhausted he sounds.

“You need to sleep.” Gently, I push him back until his head hits the pillows.

Erik’s fingers wrap around my wrist. The movement is panicked, like he’s still afraid I’m going to disappear. “Stay with me? I… need to know I have you. Just—just until I fall asleep?”

“Of course.” Grabbing the blankets, I rearrange them the best I can in the dark. “I can stay with you until morning if you’d like.”

“Only if you want to.”

Slipping under the covers, I place a hand on his arm, not sure if I should touch him much more. “You’re my best friend. Of course I want to.”

“Thank you, little rose,” he says tiredly, his arm coming around my waist and pulling me into him.

Little rose.I smile at the sweet nickname. I’m tucked under his chin, my head resting on his chest, and it strikes me how perfectly it fits. To him, I’ll always be Rose. It’s how he’s thought of me for the past thirteen years. He can’t just let that go, and I don’t want him to. The memories I have of our secret meetings are some of my happiest ones.

It only takes a few minutes for Erik’s breathing to deepen. He twitches a few times, and I’m worried he’s having another nightmare, but he doesn’t show any other signs. Eventually, his body fully relaxes, and I feel mine doing the same.

Snuggling closer, I let my eyes fall shut. Being wrapped up in him feels unreal. A possible ruse, a veiled trick. But it’s also the safest I’ve felt in years. This is my Erik. The boy who promised me freedom, who dreamed of exploring new places with me. And while there’s still so much I’m unsure of, that boy—now a man—would never hurt me intentionally.

So I let myself fully relax, the heat of him lulling me into a peaceful sleep.

Chapter ten

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