Chapter one
Raina
My breath fogs up the glass as I stare out the window, looking over the backyard of my father’s mansion. The Christmas lights the staff put up every year are already shining in the evening’s fading light, sparkling against the cloudy sky.
I always wondered what the mansion looked like from a distance. Like a castle, maybe? Similar to the ones I’ve read about in my books?
With a sigh, my gaze moves upward, searching for the light that’s become my only company after dinner. At the top of the hill behind Father’s estate is a dark house—not as large as this mansion, but not small, either. Something happened there when I was a child, but no one will tell me what. It’s sat empty ever since, except for the groundskeeper who maintains the property.
Until two weeks ago, that is.
Now, every evening, a single light turns on, and I find myself drawn to the yellow glow. The house is too far away for me to see anything inside, but my mind has made up countless stories about who’s living in the house now.
Is it him? Has he come back for me?
There’s a soft knock on my bedroom door, and the sound of the deadbolt unlocking comes a second later. Quickly, I shove my candy cane out of sight. I’m not supposed to have them, and Father will be furious if he finds out I have a hidden stash.
Marissa slips into my room, dressed in dark jeans and a gray sweater. She’s holding two coats—hers and mine. “We have to go,” she whispers. “I need you to pack a bag.”
“Pack? For what?” I ask.
Marissa knows the rules. I’m not like her and our brothers. Lydia was their mother, but she wasn’t mine. I’m the result of an affair, a dirty secret that has to be kept hidden at all costs.
I don’t exist. And that means I can’t ever leave.
“I’ll explain in the car. Right now, we need to move quickly.” She opens one of my drawers. “We’ll pack the essentials for now, and I can buy you other things later.”
Standing, I stare at her. She’s pulling out socks and underwear, shirts and pants. But there’s nothing to put it all in.
“Mar, I don’t have a bag.”
She has one, of course. Multiple. A purse, her overnight bag, her suitcase for when she comes for longer visits. But I’ve never needed one.
Smacking her forehead, Marissa mutters, “I knew I was forgetting something.”
I watch as she glances around the room, her eyes narrowed. Crossing to my bed, she grabs one of my pillows and yanks off its case.
“We’ll use this. I promise I’ll get you a real bag as soon as I can.”
“Will we be back for Christmas?”
It’s my favorite time of year. Now that we’re all grown up, the holidays are the only time my siblings come home—the only time Father is kinder to me, so I can pretend I’m not different from everyone else.
“You and I will have Christmas together.” Marissa’s smile is thin, her eyes worried. “I promise it’ll be fun.”
My hand wraps around her wrist, stopping her from shoving my clothes into the pillowcase. “You’re scaring me, Mar.”
“You should be scared.” Her voice is barely above a whisper, but it’s fierce. “What he has planned—god, Raina, justpack.”
I help her, grabbing some of my favorite shirts and shoving them into the pillowcase. She bundles me up in a hat and gloves, and then my coat. None of it has gotten much use lately. There’s no one to go outside with, and when I’m by myself, the backyard is full of too many painful memories.
“Are we running away?” I ask as Marissa peeks out the door and into the hallway.
“I’ll explain once we’re in the car,” she repeats. “Now stay quiet.”
A car?My stomach flips in giddy excitement. I’ve seen plenty of them in the driveway, but I’ve never been inside one.
We tiptoe through the house, and it feels like we’re kids again, playing hide and seek with Danny and Benjamin. Except this time, the stakes feel much, much higher.