Page 39 of A Twisted Gift

His hand drops from my face. “Because I don’t know what I’m doing, and I’m scared, Raina. Scared I’ll hurt you, or pressure you, or… I don’t know. This is all new for you, but it’s new for me, too, okay?”

I blink, surprised. “You’ve never kissed anyone before?”

With a laugh, he shakes his head. “I’ve done a lot more than kissing.”

“But you said—”

“I meant that I want to take care of you. But there’s a balance here, one I don’t know how to find.” He holds his hands up like he’s trying to demonstrate something, but then sighs and lets his hands fall instead.

“I need that balance to includemetaking care of myself,” I say softly. “No more cages, Erik.”

“That’s not what I’m trying to do,” he whispers. “I promise, Raina, the last thing I want to do is keep you in a cage.”

“But don’t you think that means that you need to let me make my own choices? You have to let me explore things so I can learn that the world isn’t full of bears and murderers, and so I can pay six cents in sales tax, and so I can…”

So I can learn what it’s like to be kissed.

“Sales tax. God, of course that’s a gap,” he mutters to himself, running a hand through his hair. “I… god, little rose. You have no idea how tempting that sounds, do you?”

“What?”

“You choosing me.” His gaze flits to my mouth, and he licks his lips. “Letting go, consequences be damned.”

“Would it be so horrible?”

“It might be,” he whispers. “I could hurt you. You could regret me.”

“But it’d still be my choice, wouldn’t it?”

“It’s not one I can accept. Not now.”

When Erik pulls away, a feeling of emptiness settles in my stomach. He starts driving, and I try to follow the trail he’s left me. Multiple times now, he’s told me that I don’t owe him anything. I’m not sure if that’s true, but regardless, that’s not why I wanted him to kiss me.

He actually thinks I wouldn’t want it,I realize as I glance at him out of the corner of my eye.Why can’t he see it? Why can’t he accept the way I’ve always felt about him?

Snow falls around the car as we drive in silence, but my thoughts are so loud I barely notice. Out of all the things I’ve wanted in my life, Erik has always been at the top of my list, and he has no clue.

I have to find a way to change that.

Chapter thirteen

Erik

“Would you like to explore more?” I ask, trying to break the tension in the car. I promised to take her wherever she wanted to go, and I want her to know I have every intention of following through. “Or would you like to go back to the house?”

“I…”

Raina bites her bottom lip as she thinks. When I give her a quick glance, some of the overwhelm I noticed in the coffee shop is back in her eyes. This has been a lot, and I can’t deny that, but I need her to know she’s not trapped with me.

“Exploring, please,” she says after a moment. “But I’m not sure where to go.”

“Have you heard of ice skating?”

Raina nods. “I’ve seen it in a movie or two. I always thought it looked fun.”

“How about we try that?”

She hums happily, and I can feel the excitement radiating from her. This is how I want her, focused on the present, not worrying about repaying me for getting her away from Charles. She doesn’t have to do that. I don’t want her to.

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