Page 115 of Hold Me Before You Go

My sunshine girl looked like she was about to burst into tears—again—as she rasped, “You’re my home, Grayson.” My jaw loosened, my shoulders falling as I stared at her in awe, my heart skipping a beat. She raised her hand, gesturing to this room—the house. “Blue Beauty isn’t my home. You are.”

“Fucking hell, baby,” I grunted, pulling her forehead to mine and closing my eyes. “You’re killing me.”

“I don’t want to lose my home,” she admitted thickly. “I don’t want to lose you.”

My hand came to the back of her neck. “We don’t have to talk about this. You said you wanted to be selfish, Sunshine. Be fucking selfish with me. With us. Please,” I clipped, unable to handle the thought of the future.

She sniffled, dropping her hands and grabbing both of my forearms, bringing them in between us as we both stared down at them. The red and white snake. “Tell me about these then,”she requested. “I’ve always wanted to know, ever since that first night. They’re so beautiful.”

I gave in to her. “I got them after my first tour, after I was healed. The Marines sent me back to the States and they weren’t going to send me back. My superior officers thought I’d seen too much, but I wasn’t done, and there was no way in fuck I was leaving Mags over there by himself.”

A small, pretty smile formed on her face then. “You and Mags.”

“Me and Mags,” I repeated.Christ, I needed to call him, give him an update. “The Marines gave me a sense of purpose, of belonging. I wanted to go back, and after I was healed and mentally cleared, I got the go-ahead. A week before I was set to ship out, I was walking past a tattoo shop and just went in.”

“What do they mean?”

“They mean so many different things in so many different cultures, but the main meanings really stuck with me,” I explained. “The white snake symbolizes peace, and the red one symbolizes death and destruction.”

“The night Leo…” She trailed off. There was no need to fill in the blanks. “The night that you came back,” she tried again, “I remember you saying 'White Snake' into the phone.”

I nodded. “That’s one of our codes. That and Red Snake.”

“Have you ever had to use Red Snake?”

I leaned back, taking a second to soak in her raw beauty before giving her the truth. “Yes, the day you were taken. Before that, the night I came back to see you and Ash had been compromised.”

She waited for me to say more, reading me like a fucking book. Sighing, I explained, “White Snake is used when I or one of the men have to kill someone. We never kill for the sport of it; that’s not our style. However, we will kill to protect not only ourselves but the lives of innocents. We used White Snake because bykilling someone, we’re purifying the Earth, getting rid of the trash.” The last word came out as a growl, but she didn’t flinch.

“And Red Snake?” she prompted.

“Red Snake means one of our own has been taken or worse, and we will do anything to get them back or avenge their death,” I said, not blinking.

She looked down to my tattoos, studying the red snake for a moment before moving to the white one. “That’s kind of poetic.”

My lips twitched. “Perhaps.”

Carrie looked over to the windows, her eyes on the early morning sky. “I don’t want to leave this bed,” she murmured, her gaze snapping back to mine. “I wish we could stay here forever, Grayson.”

I brought my hand up to cup her cheek. “I know, Sunshine.”

Instead of talking, she leaned forward, kissing me slowly. I let her have control for a few minutes before taking over, commanding her mouth as I rolled us, dropping my hips between hers as she whimpered for me. I smiled against her lips.

My sunshine.

My warmth.

“Wait, wait,” she breathed, pushing at my shoulders.

Immediately, I lifted myself up, giving her the space she needed. “What? What is it? Are you okay?” I asked out in a rush, worried I’d hurt her.

She chewed on the inside of her cheek. “Are you going to make love to me?”

I blinked. “Yeah, baby, that was the plan.” When she said nothing, I demanded, “Why?”

“Because I want to do something to you first.”

I raised a brow as her eyes trailed the length of my scar. Before I could question her more, she said, “I-I want you in my mouth.”

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