Page 93 of Hold Me Before You Go

“You need to know that—” He cut himself off, his eyes shooting up to the ceiling. “You need to know why we kept you in the rehab. You weren’t—we just thought—”

“—I know,” I whispered. “I know.”

“We’ll always be there for you, Carrie, whenever or however you need us,” he vowed.

Tears were in my eyes again, and all I could do was nod, emotions overwhelming me.

The Oasis leader opened his arms. “Come here, Care Bear,” he murmured.

Half a second later, I was wrapped in one of his bear hugs that reminded me of his uncle. My tears soaked into his shirt, and Ifelt his mouth against the top of my head. “I’ll fucking kill him if he hurts you,” he muttered.

“I know.”

Chapter Twenty-Three

Carrie

Ten minutes later, Jeremy was gone, and I fell back on the couch, feeling numb. Ash and Grayson were in the kitchen now, discussing something in low tones.

The last week was a whirlwind, and my mind was struggling to keep up with it all.

A chill swept down my spine then, and goosebumps followed in its cool path, spreading over my skin like an infection. Slowly, I looked up over to the sliding glass doors leading out to Grayson’s balcony. The sky was gray today, light flurriestumbling down from the heavens at their own pace, adding to the snow already covering the ground—including the concrete floor of the balcony. Fear coiled around my neck, just like it had a thousand times before, ready to command me, to control me as my eyes focused on the deep red blood dripping into the snow.

I lifted my eyes, and there he was, glaring at me, blood trickling from his soaked hair, a snarl painted on his face, his teeth stained red.

Robert.

My heart pounded like a war drum, and I wanted to move, but I was frozen. Ghost Robert tilted his head to the side slowly, evil seeping from him as the goosebumps on my skin intensified.

Robert was the St. Louis River Killer.

Suddenly, the nightmare I’d had a few nights ago after being saved by Mags was back in the front of my mind, replayed in my head. The skin at my neck tingled, my body remembering as the room around me disappeared, transforming into my old bedroom, Robert standing a few feet in front of me. In his bloody hand was his cell phone, and I’d heard shouting on the line, a woman crying out his name, begging him to stop the madness.

My eyes snapped up to Robert’s, but he only smiled.

“Carrie?”

I jolted, squeezing my eyes shut and dropping my head.

That wasn’t a nightmare. That was a memory. Robert had just finished killing someone, and I came home early. My stomach twisted, the urge to vomit manifesting once more.

Robert wasn’t just a monster to me; he was a monster to others, innocent people—with families. I pushed both of my hands into my hair, not giving a shit about the tangles, and took a few deep breaths. I couldn’t think about that now. Later, when all this was over and Brandon was taken care of, I would reach out to the families of the victims. I would apologize, I would…

What could I do?

What power did I even have?

I had been his wife, after all. What good was my apology going to be?

“Hey, Carrie? Are you alright?”

I looked up at Jake, his eyes soft behind his glasses, his brows pinched together. I shoved it back. Now wasn’t the time. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay. It’s just…a lot.”

He said nothing, giving me a small smile, the gesture saying more than words could. We both knew I wasn't alright, but he wasn’t going to push it, and for that, I was grateful. I barely knew any of Grayson’s team, but they were good men, every single one of them. I returned the smile and bent my head again, shaking my curls out and removing my hands as I exhaled deeply. “Jeremy coming here was unexpected and doing what I just did was…harder than I thought it was going to be.”

I saw Jake’s shoes move and then felt the other end of the couch shift as he took a seat. My hands fell from my hair, and I sat up, looking at him as he said, “When I was sixteen, I had to close a door in my life. It’s never easy, no matter what age you are.”

I nodded.

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