Page 87 of Hold Me Before You Go

My jaw tightened.She was fucking killing me.

“Not until I find Brandon, Sunshine,” I told her, kissing the top of her head as the knife in my stomach pressed in deeper. Then, she whispered something into my hoodie, something I would never forget.

“There’s no color here.”

My heart stopped, my mind going back to her file, remembering how the rehab doctors noted her asking for flowers over and over again.

My sunshine just wanted some fucking color in her life.

“Jesus, fuck,” I pushed out through clenched teeth, weaving my fingers into her hair, my palm on the back of her neck. I pulled her head back, my chest heaving now. “You want color, baby? Is that it?”

She nodded, inhaling a shaky breath.

I leaned down, brushing my lips over hers. “Do what you want to this place, then. I’ll leave my card, and you can go crazy,” I murmured against her mouth. She kissed me back then, pressing herself against me and snaking her arms around my neck. As my fingers tightened in her hair, my tongue forced her lips open, swooping in and drinking from her. I grunted at her taste, the sound coming from low in my throat. My teeth scraped against her lips as her fingers sunk into my hair, my sunshineclinging to me. My free hand dropped to her ass, grabbing a handful. Suddenly, all the shit from the day faded away, and the thoughts in my mind calmed. After a few minutes, I pulled back, relishing the sight of her swollen lips, my cock hard against her now. I gave her ass a soft pat, taking in her beauty.

Before I could get a word out, she blurted, “I’m sorry.”

My brows came together as I watched her back away from me, looking ashamed as she shook her head. “You and your team have done so much for me, and I’m complaining about your apartment not having any color.” She looked up to the ceiling, ashamed of herself. “I’m so stu—”

“Finish that sentence, and I’ll take you over my knee, Carrie,” I warned sharply.

“I was just—”

I tilted my head to the side. “Why are you apologizing for that? Why are you trying to talk down to yourself over something like this?”

“Because my issue seems insignificant compared to the fact that my crazy brother-in-law is trying to kill me,” she explained looking away from me.

In a flash, I had her chin in my grip, my nostrils flaring. “Carrie, you want color around you because you were locked in a colorless place for over a fucking year. No, scratch that—-your life never had color before you moved to Astoria. Youneedcolor. There’s nothing wrong with that,” I said firmly.

“But—”

“Hush,” I clipped, yanking her against me as I held her eyes. “Don’t you ever disregard your needs for me, do you understand me? I take care of you. That means if you want to make it look like a rainbow threw up in a condo that I barely sleep in and will be selling soon, then fucking do it. You do what you need to do to feel safe in my space when I’m not here, yeah?”

She said nothing, staring up at me in awe for a few moments as she processed my words. “You—you don’t—”

“Carrie, you’ve been through fucking hell, and by some twisted miracle, we found each other. You and I haveboth been through hell.” I let the words settle before I continued, my thumb stroking her skin. “This is still new for both of us, but I promised you I would do everything in my power to protect that light of yours. This is me doing that. Do what you need to do. At the end of the day, as long as you have that beautiful fucking light and you’re sleeping beside me, then everything is okay.”

“I love you,” she rasped.

Instead of replying, I took her lips again, kissing her until she was gasping and clinging to me. When I pulled away, my hand slid up her jaw and back into her hair. “There’s something else we have to talk about, baby.”

After kissing her once more, I led her to the couch and pulled her onto my lap, putting my hands on her hips as I stared up at her, soaking in every inch of her beauty. “I love you,” I vowed, my thumbs sweeping back and forth against her jeans-clad thighs.

She rested her hands against my abs, her shoulders relaxed as she nodded. “I know.”

I bit down, trying to find the right words to say, but the truth was, I didn’t know how to give her this. There wasn’t a way I could flip her world upside down gently. When I didn’t say anything, she broke the silence. “Whatever it is, Grayson. I can handle it,” she assured softly.

Looking back up at her, I exhaled through my nose. My strong woman.

God, she was so fucking strong.

She could handle this.

“Carrie, I went to see your father,” I told her, my voice cold.

She jerked back, her eyes widening. “Wh-what?”

“He had information on Robert no one else had,” I told her simply before going on to explain that visiting that bastard was already on the the to-do list, it just got pushed up.

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