Page 16 of Hold Me Before You Go

Leo didn’t look back up to my face as he shifted, grabbing both my wrists in his hand and pressing them down into the mattress as I tried to wiggle and buck him off. I had to fight. I couldn’t let him win. No, not like this. He chuckled, pressing his hips further into my mine as his free hand flicked open the buttons of my blouse.

My lip began to tremble as tears filled my already blurred vision. There was no hope for me now. I was too weak, too subdued. “Leo, please. I want to take things slow.”

“Can’t do that, Carrie,” he said calmly, shifting his hips once more so I could feel his erection against me. Nausea took over then, swirling in my gut, threatening to shoot up my throat. “Need you now.”

“I’m not ready for that,” I tried again.

Leo’s next words were chilling—haunting. “I’ll make sure you’re ready,” he promised as he looked back up at me, his green eyes shining with hunger as a twisted, excited smile stretched across his face. “Now, I brought some zip-ties, because—let’s face it—I’ve been dreaming of tying you down since the moment on saw you on the docks—”

“Leo—”

His free hand snapped up to my mouth as he leaned over me. “But I don’t want to gag you.”

I stared up at him in horror.

His green eyes softened, but that was the only thing I could see before my vision went hazy again. “I want to hear you cry out my name, Carrie. Okay? I’m going to make you feel so good.”

I shook my head, but he was too strong. Something was wrong with me. I couldn’t fight. Or perhaps I was giving up. I was too trapped in my own mind to decipher the truth.

“I can’t believe he actually wants you,” a different male voice said from across the room, filled with hatred and shock.

My eyes snapped to the side to find my dead husband, dressed in black slacks and a cream button-down, stepping out of the shadows. Leo didn’t seem to notice him, carrying on adjusting my restraints while humming a soft tune like he didn’t have a care in the world there was someone else in the room.

“Robert,” I whispered in horror, my vision suddenly clearing, followed by nausea. I blinked, trying to erase the image of him, but it didn’t help. Robert was still here. I looked back up to Leo, finding him smiling at me again.

“He’s a different kind of monster, babe,” Leo said to me, as if trying to justify his actions. “I actually appreciate the body you have.” He looked over his shoulder to Robert. “He never deserved you.”

“Neither of you do,” I shot back, and Leo was looking down at me once more, his brows coming together.

They were the same monster, wolves in different sheep’s clothing. I’d been tricked by both of them. Robert called my name, and I looked to him, forgetting about Leo’s body on top of me.

Robert’s upper lip curled as his eyes trailed down the length of my body. “You’ve gained weight.” He clicked his tongue. “I told you. You see, Carrie? You never fucking listened to me. That’s why I never loved you. You weren’t obedient.”

In the flash, Leo’s weight was gone, and everything around me shifted, spinning three times. I blinked, and my stomach fell as I slowly sat up, my soft bed no longer under me. No, I was on the floor—in our old house.

Robert was still in the same place, though, judgment flaring in his eyes as he shook his head. Spinning on his heel, he headed out of the living room and into the kitchen I used to starve in as a throb manifested in my right cheek.

Slowly, I brought my hand up to my face, wincing as my fingertips grazed over my cheek. Tears stung my eyes.

“I hate having to hit you, but your father said that might be the only thing that will to get you back in line,” Robert called out casually over his shoulder. He opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water.

Robert never hit me.

Robert never hit me.

Robert loved me.

Right?

I watched as he unscrewed the cap of the bottle and took a long, deep drink, his Adam’s apple bobbing with each gulp. When he was finished, he let out a sigh and undid the top two buttons of his shirt. “Shouldn’t have to deal with this, Carrie. I deserve a wife I can be proud of. I deserve something beautiful to come home to.”

Slowly, I pushed myself to my feet, my clothes hanging off me. I dared to look down, discovering I was nothing but skin and bone, just like before. I turned my head, finding the mirror that hung above our couch on the far wall, and flinched at the sight of my face. My hair was twisted back into a formal bun, my red lipstick smeared on one side, bruising around my right eye. My cheekbones were sharp, my skin tight, my collarbone jutting out.

I wasn’t me anymore. I wasn’t the woman I’d grown to love. I was a ghost of that woman once more. I could practically see the chains hanging from my bones, weighing me down.

As I turned my head, my eyes searched for Robert, only to find him leaning against the wall, hands in his pockets.

“What have you done to me?” I whispered as the familiar ache of hunger blossomed in my gut, crying out for food. I nearly doubled over as both my hands snapped to my flat stomach, the softness gone now.

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