Page 40 of Falling for My Boss

I never missed my period. Even when I was under the most stress of my life. Even without the little stick to confirm it, I was sure I was pregnant. But like I told Ally, I didn’t know Derek well enough yet to know what was going to happen when I told him.

But I wanted to know him that well. That was the hardest part about the situation. If things just felt casual between us, or I wasn’t grappling with any real feelings toward him, it seemed everything would be clearer. Maybe not easier, but less confusing and frightening. We had been living this half-life as a couple, but I wanted it to be real. I wanted to know everything about him and let him get to know me. I wanted us to be a family.

For the first time in a year, I wanted to stop running, to try to build a real life. No matter whether my parents found me or not.

That night, I cuddled up against Derek and let him hold me close. I swore to myself I would take the test in the morning, then find a time for us to talk. We would figure it out. One way or another.

25

DEREK

Family dinner had gone spectacularly well, in my opinion, even though I could see Jodi was nervous the entire time. She mostly spent her time sitting next to me or Ally, chatting happily whenever someone addressed her, but otherwise being a bit of a wallflower. I could see her almost wanting to reach out and speak at times but holding herself back. It wasn’t that anyone was treating her badly or ignoring her, she just seemed hesitant. Even still, my brothers and the girls attached all seemed to think she was sweet and nice, if quiet. Ally even pulled me aside at one point to tell me she seemed to fit.

It was weighing on me pretty heavily as I fell asleep Sunday night, and as Monday morning dawned, I knew I needed to say something.

Not that I was in any hurry. Waking up with Jodi curled up in my arms was an experience that was quickly becoming familiar but was no less wonderful. I felt exhilarated every time I woke up with her beside me, curling into my shoulder and sighing as she dreamed. I would lie there for some time on a regular basis and just listen to her breathing.

I was pretty sure that wasn’t normal behavior for someone who was just seeing someone. As Cam said as he passed me following Jodi into the kitchen at dinner, I had it bad. Real bad.

Which was why, as Monday dawned, I knew I needed to say something to her about it. Beating around the bush probably wasn’t going to get me to actually come out with it and taking her to family dinner wasn’t the hint I hoped it would be. I was going to have to sit her down and tell her the straight truth. I was falling in love with her. I was falling in love with her, and there was absolutely nothing I wanted more than to take our recent relationship and make it official and keep it going. For good.

“Morning,” she said as she finally stirred on my chest, smiling up at me through a haze of half sleep.

“Morning,” I said. “I was thinking about making us some bacon and eggs before work. Like a real breakfast thing. How does that sound?”

“Amazing,” she said. “I’ll just go and get ready for work while you cook, if that’s okay.”

“Sure. Keep the magic of my egg-wizardry a secret.”

She laughed.

“Go on,” she said, lightly pushing my chest.

“Alright, alright,” I joked, sliding out of the sheets.

As usual, we were both stark naked. I only owned pajamas anymore, it seemed, for something to wear between waking up and getting ready for work. I went to the dresser and pulled out a pair of sweatpants and a shirt and tossed them on. As I did, Jodi came up beside me, opened the drawer I had just shut, and grabbed a pair of boxer shorts and an A-shirt. That was another regular occurrence. I watched her through the mirror as she turned and walked back to the bathroom, carrying the clothes. I had to pull my eyes away from staring at her ass as she walked and made my way to the kitchen.

Gandalf was up and eating as I put on the coffee pot and started the bacon. By the time breakfast was mostly done and the coffee was ready, Jodi still hadn’t come out of the bathroom, and Gandalf had fallen back to sleep. I often envied his ability to seem comfortable anywhere, including the kitchen floor. One would think with his hips at his age, he would be picky about cushions and beds, but often I found him curled up or lying on his side in places I knew would make my own back hurt.

Carefully stepping over the sleeping dog, I carried the food into the kitchen. I could hear Jodi in the bathroom rustling around for a moment, and then there was silence. She had, at some point, gone from the bathroom in my bedroom to the spare across the hall. I assumed she had some makeup or something in there she needed, but when she didn’t come out and the door remained shut, I shrugged and went back to the kitchen.

Cleaning up was never my favorite part of being a cook. It came with the territory though, and at least I was well beyond the stage of my career when I would work under another chef and need to do the cleanup for them. I promised myself early on I would never be that person. Having a dishwasher on staff was one thing, but the hazing of younger chefs and line cooks was unacceptable to me.

Cooking in my own kitchen meant that there was no way to shirk responsibility, even if I had wanted to. Instead, I usually waited until the last second, washed the dishes from breakfast if there were any, or tossed them into the dishwasher, then got dressed for work in a hurry. Figuring I would at least be ahead of things by doing it now, I went about saving the bacon grease, cleaning the pans out, and even pouring out the coffee for both me and Jodi. She liked it with cream and sugar, so I put some out for her in decanters I never used and sat down at the table to wait.

After another five minutes of waiting, I was starting to get worried about her. Maybe she had caught a bug or something and would need to call out. I was about to stand up, thinking I could make a bed on the couch for her in preparation, when the door creaked open. I looked up to see her walking out, her face ghost white.

Maybe she wasn’t sick. The thought ran through my mind like a freight train. Maybe she wasn’t sick but had something else on her mind. Like breaking up with me. Maybe last night had been too much, too soon. Or just too much in general. Of course, she would come to that conclusion right before I had the balls to finally tell her how I felt. Panic struck my spine, and I thought about all the things I would try to say to change her mind. Which one would I say first? Would I just outright tell her I was in love with her?

I opened my mouth, ready to let words come pouring out of my mouth. I wasn’t going to be choosy about which ones. Just whatever my heart decided I needed to say.

But no voice came out. My mind was suddenly hyper focused on what was in Jodi’s hand. She was holding it up at eye level as she stood feet away from me. Everything else blurred out, even Jodi herself. All I could see was the small, white pregnancy test in her hand. The blue LED screen was rather clear about what it said. In big, bold letters it said “pregnant.”

“Oh,” I mumbled. “Oh, shit.”

I winced. It wasn’t what I intended on saying, and certainly wasn’t the most sensitive thing to say at the moment. But it was the only thing that came to mind. Everything else in my vocabulary was gone, like someone had gone into my brain and used White-Out on the entire thing.

Jodi nodded, her lips pursed together in an expression I couldn’t quite read. She made her way to the table and sat across from me while I tried to find words. When none came, she cleared her throat, placing the test between us on the table.

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