Page 158 of Butterfly Effect

He grunts.

“Why’d you marry Skylar?”

A rare smile paints his face. He puffs his cheeks and blows out a hard breath. “Because I love her more than anything else in this godforsaken world.”

My head hangs. “How do you know?”

“Know what?”

“That you love her.”

“Oh, buddy,” he says, patting my back.

My lip curls into a cringe. “I’m gonna get the speech, aren’t I?”

“What speech?”

“The ‘the right woman changes you’ speech.”

“Fuck no,” he spits. “That’s bullshit. A woman shouldn’t have to change you. You’d be a coward to put that responsibility on someone else.” His meaty finger jabs into my pec twice. “You have to figure your own shit out.”

“Ow. Yeesh. Okay. I’m starting to think I asked the wrong guy.”

Derrick peers up at the ceiling and shakes his head. “It’s not the person that changes you.”

“But Sky changedyou.”

He tilts his head and glances back with a side-eye. “Did she?”

I shrug. “Maybe not. I guess you’re still a grumpy bastard.”

“The thing is…” Jaeger grumbles and pulls his hands down his face. “I’m not good at this crap, but…it’s not the person. It’s the world of possibilities they open your life up to.”

Oh.

“If you’re lucky,” he continues, “you meet someone that makes you wonder if things could be different. Thatyoucould be different. And they’re so amazing, so breathtaking, you want to be who they deserve. You want it so badly you start imagining an entire life with them. You dream about talking late at night and breakfast in bed, living together, mowing the lawn onweekends, barbecuing in the summer, building a family, growing old together…”

A movie montage of an alternative reality with Gabe plays before my glossy eyes. Big wedding, my ring on her hand and hers on mine. Good luck kisses before games. The house overrun with kids, me making meals for everyone, but only feeding her with my hands. Late-night laughter with friends and family around backyard bonfires. Countless mountaintop sunrises and beach sunsets. Night after night in a shared bed as we age. A lifetime of joys and triumphs and love and support. The short glimpses of a future that could be forms a hard lump in my throat.

“If you’rereallylucky, she’ll realize your love, your trust, is what she wants, too. And then she’ll help make your dreams come true.” Jaeg releases a sharp breath. “At least that’s how it happened for me.”

“Do you,” I start, dawdling my thumbs between my knees. “Um, maybe, think I could have that with Gabe?”

Derrick hums. “Can’t say for sure, but if you’re asking, you might already know the answer.”

In my heart, I do. I think I’ve known.

“All I’m saying is I see who you are, how you are when she’s around. You’re at your best.”

“Jaeg,” I sing, bumping our knees together. “That’s really sweet.”

He shoves me back harder, and my betraying feet nearly slide out from under me.

“Don’t screw it up by being less than what she deserves.”

We share a knowing, easy smile.

“I won’t.”

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