Page 149 of Butterfly Effect

All those unsure, fleeting glimpses during practices that turned to longing late at night. The countless moments oftentative contact pulled away too quickly. A year of unspoken tension where nothing had happened, but everything had bloomed, waking something only to be tucked away like so many other pieces of myself.

“Where are my manners?” Mal bounces the heel of his hand off his forehead. “Have you met Vanessa?”

“Yep. Yeah.” Gabe and I confirm in chorus.

“Isn’t she great?” He goes gooey-eyed looking at her, then kisses her cheek. “Best thing to ever happen to me.”

She blushes pink in response. “We should get going.” Vanessa’s suggestion is met with relieved breaths from all of us.

“For sure. Good seeing you, man.” He waves goodbye and curls an arm around her neck before kissing her forehead. They disappear down the hall and through a set of double doors.

“That was…interesting.” Gabe slices through the silence on our walk toward the locker area.

“Or something.”

My heart wants to rip from my ribs and bare itself in her hands. But there are too many watchful eyes and eavesdropping ears surrounding us.

“Meet you at the hotel?”

“Yep.”

She beats me there and waits at the foot of the mattress, rocking her foot from where it hangs over crossed legs.

I toss my coat and suit jacket on an armchair, then undo my tie. “I’m wiped.”

Gabe perks an eyebrow at me. “Did you sleep with her?”

Right to the chase.

“Yes. Long before you.”

There. That wasn’t so hard.

“Ahh,nowit makes sense.” Her head moves through a series of nods, and I relax. She’s not upset. “You’re jealous she’s with someone else.”

The truth is more complicated, but it’s the truth. Gabe deserves that much.

“No,” I confess softly, untucking my shirt and slipping out of my Oxfords. “I’m jealous ofher.”

The bobbing foot stills. She straightens, placing both feet on the flooring. “What do you mean?”

I lower until my knees take up the space between her boots, running my hands up and down her thighs in wide strokes.

“Malcolm and I…we weren’t close because we played together or lived together.” Shame fixes my eyes to the ground. “We’re close because…”

We share the same secret.

Why can’t I say it?

“Go on,” she encourages, lifting my head to catch my gaze. “You can tell me anything, Wade.”

The admission is more for me than Gabe. “She gets to have Malcolm in a way I never did.”

Her throat tenses with a swallow before a mousey murmur breathes out. “Holy crap.”

“I thought I could forget he existed.” My head hangs, unable to face her. “Was doing a decent job, too.”

A gracious hand sweeps over my cheek and latches to my jaw, forcing my head to tip back. “Does he know?”