Page 114 of Butterfly Effect

“Would you slap your boyfriend, husband, partner, whatever you wanna call him…for a billion dollars?”

Skylar sputters. “Hell no. That’s my baby. We don’t need a billion dollars. We have more than enough money, don’t we, my love?” She dots Jaeger’s mouth with two short pecks. His eyes glaze over for a moment before returning to their deadened state.

Fucking goon.

“I’d do it,” Indi replies through a yawn.

Landon protests. “Babyyy.”

“What? Get real, Radek. It’s a lot of money! Don’t worry. I’ll give you a billion-dollar blowie after.”

“Can I get one of those tonight?”

“For free?” She denies with an exaggeratednah. “Without the money, you get the regular service.”

“Deal!”

“What about you, Gabe?”

My girlfriend turns her head to pore over me. “A billion dollars?” She turns back to the girls. “I’d do it for free.”

Jaw askew, the tip of my tongue presses into these horrible buck teeth in disbelief.

Bye-bye, nice, touchy-feely Gabe. Guess the edible wore off.

Each dude on this sectional erupts into laughter. Landon’s shoulders shake from where he hides in the crook of Indi’s neck as she chides him. Olsen does a Patrick Star dopey chuckle while Szecze slaps a knee. Fletcher tips forward off of the cushion, snorting through short breaths as he holds his stomach, the dog on his ass spasming without relent.

Freckles has some fucking nerve to be a brat right now.

She launches herself up by pushing her hands on her knees. “Sorry to cut the fun short. I have to use the washroom.”

When she disappears down a hall, I jump to my feet. “Be right back.”

There’s only one way to deal with a brat effectively.

I use my thumbnail to turn the lock of the powder room. Gabe’s seated on the pot. The color spreading over her questioning face matches her temporary hair color.

“Um,hello?”

“I—” The trickle of pee hitting the toilet water interrupts my original train of thought. I stumble through confused words. “You-how-but…you’re still wearing your pants? How are you peeing?”

She wipes and stands before closing the lid and flushing.

“They’re for hiking. So women can go in the middle of the woods without having to flash everyone the goods.” A zipping sound begins as Gabe closes the zipper back-to-front. “Also, excuse me?” She bumps me with her hip to wash and dry her hands. “Can’t even pee without you following me like an attention-starved puppy.”

Attention-starved puppy? Okay, she’s not wrong, but no need to say it to my face.

I relock the door, switch the venting fan on and turn both the handles of the faucet fully, hoping it’ll drown out our bickering, then drop my voice to a yelling whisper.

“Excuseme? ExcuseYOU!” My index finger accuses. “What the hell are you trying to pull out there?”

Gabe glances at me through the mirror, lifting her brows, and gives a slow blink. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“That’s bullshit?—”

Her gaze sharpens. A salacious grin appears. “What are you gonna do about it?”

Oh.

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