Page 156 of Snap Shot

“I trust you, too.” Her hand warms my thigh. Comforting. Grounding. “If you say your teammates won't rat us out, I believe you. And besides, I'm like, this close” —she pinches her index finger and thumb together— “to having everything we need to settle the case out of court. We have to be more careful until then.”

Indi cocks her masked face in my direction, pausing the conversation. “Sometimes, I think…” she mumbles, drawing nervous rounds into her thigh.

“Indi,um, I—” A lump in my throat strangles my words. “Do you ever—”

Her hand slips away before I can hold it.

She peeks under the mask, eyes hiding something between regret and longing. “Don't say anything else, Landon.”

Too soon, she's gone. The mask is on again and the door clicks as she pushes it open. It swings shut, ending the conversation with an uneasy finality.

She might as well have reached into my chest and slapped my heart. Indi has to know that it already lives and beats for her. But what about the tremble in her voice? Maybe she knew it would change everything.

Or maybe I misunderstood. Maybe she wanted to save me the embarrassment because she doesn't feel the same.

Indi made the rules. She made it so clear, so easy. So clean-cut. She didn't want anything beyond friendship and orgasms. And though we agreed we're more than friends, the minute I think we're moving beyond that, we take two steps back. And me? A fucking sap if I ever saw one. I'm so fucking in love with her, if she told me to go fuck myself, I'd be ready with my cock in-hand.

I sigh and harshly rub my face. The distance feels worse than before, like I've lost her when I haven't had her yet.

Multi-colored lights strobe through the windows of Wade's upper-floor unit as I glance skyward through the tinted glass. There's no way I'm going back up there. I grab my phone from the floor of the Rover and text the group.

Me:Everything under control? I’m out.

Fletch:Lucky. I wanna go home, too!

Jaeg:Done walking that fish, eh?Sky and I are leaving too. See ya tomorrow morning.

Wade:You guys suck filthy ol man balls. Fletch, get your ass out here. I'm drowning in tits.

Fletch:No thanks. I'm good here.

Me:Can I park here overnight? I'll come get the Rover in the morning.

Wade:For sure.

The night creeps on. My mind switches from fantasizing about Indi to overthinking every word exchanged between us. I'm not in the habit of hiding what I feel, and I won't start now. I don't want to let her go, to give up. I don't want it to end. But I have no idea whether I should keep trying to convince Indi that this could be so much more than what it is.

Chapter 40: It’s Not Nothing

Indi

You know how books and movies rave about those sparks between couples? They depict grand, romantic gestures while fireworks go off in the background.

They're real. And I've only felt them with Landon Radek. They jolt through the taut netting of my Halloween mask during our tipsy non-kiss, pricking at my lips and sending electrified goosebumps down my limbs to the tips of my fingers and toes. Like the sparkling of a lit firecracker wick.

If I'm honest, they come up more and more whenever he's around. Like when he carried my limp body to the oversized tub to bathe me and wash my hair after doling out ten orgasms. His touch was so tender, and those fleeting kisses left my clean skin too quickly.

The same sparks simmered in my gut watching him change the bedsheets as I lounged in his warm robe.

They’re still there the morning after, lingering in the sheets as I woke up in his empty penthouse to an envelope on the nightstand with a handwritten note. It contains the years-old doodle he'd drawn of me beating up Bryce Bennett.

This is yours. Just like me.

PS-I made you blueberry protein pancakes. They're in the toaster oven. I don't know how to make fancy coffee, but an iced latte should be there soon.

Landon

I laughed, but I wanted to cry. He was too good to me, his friendship so much more than I deserved. More accepting, more intimate than anyone before him.