Page 87 of Wild Scottish Fortune

Jacob had been taken from me, but he hadn’t chosen to leave me.

Grandpa Lou had died of old age.

Ex-boyfriends had left, mainly because I’d kept them at arm’s length, or had never given a relationship a serious go.

None of which said I was unlovable.

All of which pointed to the fact that some people were dealt shitty circumstances, and they dealt with it the best they could. I’d finally built a life I could be proud of, happy even, and still I held on to a core belief and kept people away from me, on the off chance they’d one day leave me.

Life certainly wasn’t fair, sure enough, but I wasn’t being fair to myself either. I’d kept my walls up for so long that I’d been missing out on any opportunity to truly move into a brighter future for myself. Here I was, in Loren Brae, having been offered a veritable magickal sisterhood, as well as an incredible boyfriend, and still I pushed them all back. I wouldn’t let Lia help me much tonight. I refused to tell Fin how I truly felt about him. I couldn’t even bring myself to adopt Harris because I was scared to lose him. And now, here I stood, feeling sorry for myself because once again, someone had left me.

It looked like it was time for me to fix my cracked foundation.

Drinking my tea, I settled on my bed, not bothering to turn a podcast on as I watched Goldie twirl about in her bowl. How did one go about changing their life?

You can start by apologizing.

The Green Lady sat at the end of my bed, and I smiled faintly at her. My oldest friend, I guessed she was. Odd,wasn’t it, that the longest relationship I’d ever had was with a ghost.

“I tried to apologize to Fin, but he ran off.”

Do you blame him?

“I don’t know. I guess witchy stuff is scary to people. Particularly him. I mean, he did have the incident in the cottage a while back. He’d been full on panicking after.”

He was protecting you when he walked away.

“Och, come on now. That’s a leap.”

Is it? He was angry, but he wants to keep you feeling safe.

I considered that. Fin had always been very protective of me.

“Safe from what? Hadn’t I just banished the bad guy?”

Safe from his anger. He didn’t want to scare you.

“Does it matter? He took one look at witchy stuff and ran. I don’t really see how this will work.” Yes, I know I’d just said that I was going to fix my foundation, but I was still bitter about the way that Fin had run from me before giving me much of a chance to explain. I took another sip of my tea.

The Green Lady just looked at me in silence.

“What? Maybe heisdoing us a favor. Would we ever really have worked out? Remember. He’s the type who holds galas for people and I’m the one people hold galas for.”

Tears pricked my eyes, shocking me, and I tried to shore up the walls that held my emotions in a wee box inside me.

Oh, Orla.

I blinked through the sheen of tears, a shiver of disquiet working through me. The Green Lady rarely used my name.

“It’s true enough, isn’t it? I’m not wrong.”

No, you’re not.

“See? So maybe this is all for the best. Why even put all this work in just to end up in heartbreak anyway?” To end up alone?

He bought a home here. He’s building a life. With you. For you.

“It’s for him as well. He told me he was sick of Edinburgh. He likes it here. He has friends here. Plus, it doesn’t really matter. He walked away. This is all too much for him. I’m just a mess, all right? I’m a messy difficult person and the magick is probably just one thing too much for him. You had to have seen him. Don’t lie…I know you were around. He was furious. Raging. He’s done with me.”

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