Page 84 of Wrath

“Yeah. It’s all some shit. People can be terrible. And history is super shit. Especially in these parts.”

His mouth twitches and his eyes hold mine for just a second too long. But he doesn’t remark.

“See back there, at what looks like the end of our little road here, where the trees get really thick?” I point.

He nods, stuffing his hands into the sweatshirt’s pocket.

“There’s a brick wall back there. If you climb up onto one of the crypts—see the really tall one, shaped like a big dick? You can climb from that to the top of the brick wall and look out at the water.” It’s a long way down, I realize suddenly. The view from up there would be so much like the one from the trestle bridge.

Fuck, did he really say he jumped to die? I didn’t let myself go there before right now, and now the thought makes my stomach drop.

His hand brushes mine. “Mills.” He smiles, looking tired and fucking gorgeous with his lake eyes and his lush lips. “It’s okay.”

“You asked me why,” I manage, “but I didn’t ask you. Why you—”

“Don’t.” He lifts his brows and stops walking for half a second.

I don’t know what to say to that, so I just nod, and we start walking again.

“I think I see it,” he says, pointing to the brick wall.

“Yeah, and see the dick crypt, right by the really mossy oak with those low branches? I know it’s fucked that we climb on it, but kids here have been doing it forever. When I was little, we were scared of who’s inside it, so we used to bring our favorite rocks or sticks to leave. You know, like as an offering.”

We get to the crypt—it’s made of what looks like pearly cement, its crevices stained dark by time—and I climb up. As I’m reaching for the top of the brick wall so I can hoist myself up, Ezra’s hand comes to my ankle. “Hey, man. Are you sure about this?”

“This?” I tap the crypt.

“Sitting up there,” he says. He looks worried.

“It’s all good.”

He shakes his head. “I’ve got an idea,” he says. “Come back down.”

I do, and I watch as he climbs up ahead of me. He straddles the wall, which is about a foot wide, and then scoots back a little, giving me a crooked grin as he points at the space in front of him.

“We gonna ride this like a horse?”

“Yeah,” he says. “So you don’t fall off.”

I feel his hand at my back as I settle in front of him. The trees are so thick here, leaves are all around us, so it feels like we’re in a kaleidoscope.

“I forgot how overgrown this is,” I say. “Sorry it’s a little dense.”

“I like it.”

We can see the lake below, with its red mud cliffs.

“I used to think of jumping off when I was a kid.” As soon as I say it, I regret it.What a fucking moron, Miller.But there’s no awkward silence. He says, “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. Just swimming, you know. Like this swan dive and…” I swallow hard.

His hand touches on my back. “You learn to swim when you were really little?” he asks, sounding casual.

“Yeah. Most people do here. Because of the lake.”

His finger draws on my back; it feels like a wave shape.

“What about you?” I manage.

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