Page 78 of Wrath

‘How’s he playing?’I ask, for shits and giggles.

‘Real good, brother. Good. He’s got some big scouts coming’

‘Oh yeah?’

‘Next week and the next- they’re gon want him too’

‘Where are they from,’I ask.

‘All the places, brother. Bama, Auburn, I think TN. MICHIGAN. Hope they look at me too’

‘I’m sure they will,’I tell him.

‘Thnx bruh.’

Thank God, that’s the end of text hell. I pull on a clean shirt and sit at my desk for a while, thumbing through my physicstextbook. It comes pretty easily to me, but maybe that’s because I pre-read all the lessons. I wonder if Ezra does.

He said last night that he wants this shit with us to end. I’m sure right now he’s only watching out for me because he has to, trying to make our parents happy. What kind of dick would people think he was if he didn’t try to be nice after my big, weird, freakish SEIZURE?

I can’t get my brain into the physics. I don’t want to play the cello either, because I know he’ll hear. Maybe it’d be good for him to hear, so he can be reminded that I’m still normal and all. No need to rub my back or bring me treats.

I don’t want to play, though. I don’t even want to be here. I think of going fishing, and it hits me—I can’t drive. Dammit, I can’t take the boat out on the water, can I? Maybe I can. But I know that’s not true. I could fall into the water face down. Even with a life vest on—if I was seizing...

I walk out of my bedroom and onto the stairs. There’s a skylight right above them. I look up at the sky. Blue sky with fluffy white clouds. Fuck, this fuckingblows.

“What’s up?”

Jesus. Fucking Ezra’s at the bottom of the stairs. I blink down at him. “Nothing.”

“Feeling okay?” he asks.

“Yeah. Feel fine.”

He’s looking up at me with rumpled brows. I widen my eyes at him.

“You get a donut?” he asks.

“No. They just sat in my room and I looked at them for a while. Juggled three, used another as a bracelet.” I turn around, so I can start back to my room. “If you want one, come get one. I only had two.”

I’m stretching out on my bed, lying face-down across the mattress, when I hear the door open.

“Hey…” His voice is softer than the norm. “You want to go out on the boat or something?”

“What?” I snap.Does he read minds now?

“I said…would you want to go out in the boat? Get out of here?”

“Why?” My voice sounds morose.

I can feel him step a little closer. “We don’t have to. I thought you liked it. But maybe it’s not comfortable enough for—”

“Dude, just stop.”

I roll over, irritated to find his flawless face still hits me just the same as always. I sit up and try my best to look as unaffected as I can, despite the way my heart pounds.

“I don’t want to go out with you. I don’t want to beinwith you. I’m fuckingfromhere, brother. I have friends. If I want to go somewhere, I’ll call one of them.”

I can see him absorb my words. His face turns unhappy, something changing in the eyes and in the set of his mouth.

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