Page 48 of Wrath

There’s a second where my heart is throbbing and my feet are glued to the floor. Then he makes this choked sound, and I’m across the room and on his bed in milliseconds. His muffled noises hit me right in the chest. He’s got his face buried in a pillow.

“Hey Ezra? Wake up, man.” Another swell of sound comes from his throat. I shake him lightly. “Hey…it’s Miller.” His whole body jerks on what sounds like a fucking whimper.Shit. I wrap my arms around him from behind and try to flip him. I can tell it wakes him up because his body tenses. I ease him onto his side, and his eyelids lift a little.

“Hey…”

His face twists like he’s still asleep. I shake him again. Motherfucker groans and recoils from me.

“Hey Ezra?” I press my palm to his forehead, and his eyelids crack open.

“Miller?” he moans.

“Yeah.” I sort of cup his face. It’s warm and damp. His eyes are glazed. “Are you okay?”

He puts his hand over mine, pressing hard for just a second. I can feel his fingers shaking.

“Yeah.” He scoots himself away from me and then turns onto his side, so I can only see his back. “You can go now.” His voice is hoarse. It doesn’t sound like Ezra.

I swallow to loosen my own throat. “Is it your head?”

He inhales…blows it out. “It’s okay,” he says softly.

I can’t tell for sure, but I think maybe he’s still shaking. I reach my hand toward him, resting my palm on the bed, and…yeah. He must be fucked up from that dream cause bro is shaking hard enough to quake the fucking mattress.

Damn.

I sit fully up, hesitating for a second before I reach down and grab his duvet. I pull the thing over him—over his waist and shoulders and back, all the way up to his neck, the way my mom tucked me in when I was a kid.

“Don’t be a homophobe now, angel face,” I whisper—trying to pre-empt him, I guess.

There’s a moment of silence. Feels like a lifetime till he replies in a hoarse version of his normal voice. “You with the faggy nicknames.”

“You with the death wish.”

He doesn’t move for what feels like an eternity. I stretch out on my back beside him. He’s on his side, so I can’t see his face. There’s maybe a foot between us. I fold my arms behind my head and look down at myself. I’m wearing only boxer briefstonight. Christmas ones with little Santas. Not even the right season…

I shut my eyes and breathe deep but quiet. “I don’t like you, okay? You’re not my type.” I scoot a little closer. Then a little closer still, so he can feel me nearly brushing up against him.Fuck. My heart is beating so hard. I inhale quietly and move over just another half inch so my shoulder is touching his back—an anchor. I can feel how fast he’s breathing, and it makes my chest ache.

“You go for the boys with G-strings and nice makeup?”

I smile, closing my eyes again. “I go for people who like me.”

He doesn’t reply, and my chest craters, like I can’t pull in air. I turn over on my side, too—facing away from him. Now we’re touching just above the hips. Just above my ass. I shift myself so that’s angled away from him. Just our upper backs are touching.

“I’m staying in here for a while,” I tell him. “Make sure you don’t croak from that concussion.”

I feel him take a long breath, and I brace for something shitty. Nothing comes. It’s the two of us on his bed…in the middle of the damn night. I keep still and listen as he sniffs then shifts his weight and takes another long breath. He doesn’t move his back away from mine. I can feel him breathing, feel the heat of his skin through his shirt.

“I’ll be able to tell if you’re not okay,” I explain.

It doesn’t even make sense. I’m not sure that’s true, either. But it’s something.

When another minute or so passes, his whole body shudders, and he draws slightly away. At one point, he takes a sharp breath, and I feel like he’s going to tell me to get lost, but he never does.

I shut my eyes, trying to pretend I’m not here in his bed. Just as I’m wondering if I should get up, I feel his body jerk, and then he’s still. He’s breathing slow and steady, and his back pressesto mine again.

He’s relaxed now.

He’s asleep now.

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