Page 250 of Wrath

"I’m so sorry."

"It’s okay." His voice sounds broken. He breathes moredeeply, and then he laughs. "I remembered. It was like a tidal wave, dude. Slammed my brain."

I kiss his hair.

"I want more Icee," he says in a thin voice. "Mills. Do you still love me?"

"Always."

"Are you sure?" He sounds exhausted. "I was such an asshole."

"I’m so sure. I knew that all along, remember? Anyway, you weren’t an asshole. You were an antihero. Now you turned."

“This is so weird. I’m sleepy."

I rub his back…massage his nape.

"Are you sure...there's nothing wrong with me?"

"I think you had a panic attack, angel. Let’s sleep."

"Can you stay here?" he whispers.

"Absolutely, angel. For however long. Forever long."

Three

Ezra

Iwake up to Miller wrapped around me from behind. His heavy arm over my shoulder and chest. One of his legs pushed in between mine. I can feel his cheek against my back, his breath against my skin, and that’s when I remember what happened.

I feel an echo of the shock from earlier. Like a waterfall of thoughts and feelings that, for a crushing millisecond, is too much. I feel pummeled by it—my lungs locking up, my throat constricting—but then something shifts in my mind and I’ve got it. Got a handle on it.

I remembered. And it’s okay.It’s fucked up and sad and crazy. I feel all this shit toward my mom. But it’s okay, I tell myself.

I take a long, slow breath, and I feel Miller’s body tense up.

“Hey, angel.” His cheek presses against my back.

I swallow. "I love you." My voice still sounds raspy.

"I love you too."

I turn over so I'm facing him. I cup his face, wondering as Ilook into his blue eyes how he can still love me. Fuck, he’s given everything to me, and I was so shitty to my Mills—especially at first. I feel almost overwhelmed by how much I love him, by how much I just want things to be good now. I kiss his cheek. “This is weird,” I rasp. “Now that I remember you, I miss you…in the past.” I laugh. “It's really weird."

Okay, Mr. Articulate.

But Mills just kisses my lips, light and gentle. "That's gotta be so fucking weird it's unreal."

He hugs me, and I let myself relax against him, feeling what it’s like for Mills to hold me again.Thisone. This Miller that I know better, who pulled me from the lake and climbed onto the trestle bridge to talk me off it. The one I toyed with, fucked with, tried to wreck—but all he did was be so patient with me. Wake me up from a thousand nightmares.

I don’t have those nightmares anymore, I realize. Will I start having them again now that my memory’s back? Did the ECT cure me? I noticed I feel more…negative about myself—now that I remember what I did to Miller. And I feel angry with myself for leaving Fairplay. For letting my mom run the show. For being scared of what she might do. I was a fucking coward, and we both paid the price.

Miller’s hand strokes down the back of my head.

"You're not asking any questions," I whisper, trying to smile for him.

"I don't want to overwhelm you."

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