Page 249 of Wrath

"I loved you too."

"I hurt you…over and over.”

"You gave me my first blow job. My first kiss. Do you really remember? Remember the cemetery kiss?"

He's nodding. "I was chicken shit and tried to run."

"You were beautiful. I'll never forget that day."

"You made fun of my face," he laughs.Another shudder follows his soft laugh. Then he's just shaking.“Sorry. I can’t stop." His voice sounds gasped. "Is something wrong with me?”

I tip my head down so I can press my cheek against his. I rub my temple over his mouth, trying to feel how fast he's breathing. “Well...I don't think so. But your lips are cold.”

"The Icee." It's a whimper. "I remembered from an Icee."

I hug him hard, feeling shocked. I want to ask exactly how it happened. What it felt like. How he feels now. I want to know it all. But he's still clinging to me, his big body quivering like a plucked string. I know he's overwhelmed and maybe even scared. What could that possibly feel like, that influx of context…history…feelings?

I rub his back. “You wanna get into the shower with me?”

“No," he whispers.

His body feels warm and rigid. I wrap mine around him. "I love you. I've got you. You're okay."

Ezra curls against me. I can't help kissing his cheeks...and then his lips find mine. We kiss, and it tastes salty. He's not moving like normal; he seems dazed, his body still racked with shivers.

“If you're ever stranded in an avalanche, you’ll do good, baby. Keep the whole crew warm.”

He laughs.

“Physics," he whispers a moment later.

“Nearly killed me," I say fondly.

“The books…at the table. Hiding.”

"You mean you were hiding from me? Those mornings that Mom and Carl were gone?"

He nods.

“I knew that." I kiss his forehead. "I knew you were spooked. You remember how you overheated that day? I was always curious about that.”

“Drills. And those meds.” He inhales. “Should have sat out.”

Geez, he really can't stop shaking. I cup my hands around his mouth and kiss his top lip, soft and gentle.

"Tattoo...in Chattanooga," he whispers against my cheek. “As I was driving to Mom’s. Not enough money for the angel too."

That makes my heart ache. "I like what you picked, though. The infinity."

He presses his cheek against mine, holds me tighter. "I didn’t think the ECT would matter. Didn’t last time."

"I know."

"God," he laughs softly. “This summer."

"This past summer? What about it? Was it was pretty terrible?”

He nods.

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