Page 173 of Wrath

Six

Ezra

June 2, 2019

Hi journal. I’m here. I moved in last week—to a dorm. Athletic dorms. They’re letting me live here and take two classes this summer.

Got my GED in May when I was at Amelia’s place. They had a party with a cake after I passed the test, and I felt pretty good about it. It was good- the time I was there.

I just got back to my dorm from walking across campus. No one knows me yet, especially if I wear a ball cap.

There’s a bookstore near campus where I go and read sometimes. I applied for a job there last week but haven’t heard yet.

Right now, I’m reading The Color Purple.

I have something to report about that:

Either I’ve read it before- or I’m afucking psychic.

June 8, 2019

I got the job. I’m working four hours every afternoon.

I’m not a psychic.

I have to tell you something. Have to tell someone.

I got on Facebook Wednesday night.

The football program asked me to go in my profile and remove things that might look bad. So I called Facebook—one of the team assistants gave me a contact phone number—and they helped me log in.

I had a message from this guy named Brennan Meeks. It said he was surprised I left and he would miss me. For a second, my throat locked up, but I scrolled down…and he said-

Miller misses you too.

MILLER.

I checked Brennan’s friend list. There was a guy named Josh Miller.

After a little bit of digging, I found out Josh Miller is mystepbrother. He’s the son of Dad’s new wife, Suzanne Miller. I lived with him. And he’s fucking gorgeous, dude. Looks like a surfer with a tan and wavy dark brown hair, blue eyes and freckles. When he smiles in Facebook pictures, he always looks slightly high. Like he’s…relaxed. And happy. He doesn’t look like a bigot.

When I look at him—

I might have had a crush on this guy.

So anyway- I found him on Snapchat. I friended him. It wasn’t even hard.

You know what is hard? My dick. All he posts is workout vids. He’s doing two-a-days. Sounds like he’s going to Montevallo to play soccer based on his posts. It’s a school in Alabama.

I watched him once this morning already.

It’s giving me life.

Just another secret. Got so fucking many, what’s one more? Stalker vibes here.

Been off all those meds from Sheppard Pratt and of course, my dick is fucking gay as shit again. I saw this guy Josh Miller’s dick outlined in his workout pants the other day and nearly came on myself. Every time I jerk off, I picture his relaxed surfer face as he comes, his mouth slightly open.

This Tuesday is my first workout with the team.

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