Page 167 of Wrath

She tries to be nice, but I don't like the wires and monitors all on me. I close my eyes, but all I see is Alton and that bed I got put in after they moved me down to the clinic.

"Ezra?"

I blink up at the nurse.

"I'm going to place your IV now, and get you started with a little bit of sedation. Are you having anxiety, due to what happened last time?"

"What, losing my fucking memory?"

She recoils at my F-bomb. Regret swamps me. "Sorry. I'm not mad at you or anything."

"I know. It's okay."

Her hands on me feel cold. I put an arm over my face, gritting my teeth as the needle goes in.

"Did that hurt?"

"No."

She tapes the fucking thing in place. I want to get up, walk outside, and walk as many miles as I have to, until this clawed-up feeling lets go of my throat and my chest.

A monitor starts beeping. The nurse says, "I'll be right back" and steps out.

When she's back, she starts a bag of something. I can't see what.

"Dr. Katz said we can do a bit of haloperidol to get you comfortable before you go to sleep."

I don't like this stuff. It makes me feel so weird. Like I can't sit still. But I can't move because my mind is so numb. So I lie there feeling weird inside. It makes me want to cry, but I can't cry when they give it to me.

"You can skip it," I manage. "I'm fine."

"Oh, it's okay. We want to help you feel relaxed."

She pats my hand, and I grit my teeth so I don't recoil. It's not long before the room gets blurry and I feel all numb and heavy. The team comes into my room, and somehow, I sit up.

"I need a marker."

"What?" the anesthesiologist asks.

"I need a marker. To write stuff...on my arm."The words slur.

I can't write because this stuff makes me shake. But I try.

MILLER.

Maybe when I wake back up…I'll find out what it means.

Four

Ezra

“Mr. Masters, you’re going to have to stop resisting. Do you know where you are?”

I’m not resisting. I’mcrying.

My arms… Oh God.

“Get this shit off!”

---