Page 148 of Wrath

Afterward, I dry Mills’ shoulders off, and towel dry his hair. When we’ve both got towels wrapped around our waists, I rub his shoulders down with lotion. Before I finish, he’s turning around to kiss me.

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

We get caught up kissing—until I pull away because I’m scared he’ll ask for the D again, and I’ll give in and give it to him.

“You laid some good pipe,” he says, sounding sleepy, as we walk through his room.

“You…received it nicely?” We’re both laughing our asses off again as we walk downstairs to watch a movie on the couch.

We startGuardians of the GalaxyVol. 2, which I have no intention of watching, and I sort of hope he doesn’t either. I cover Mills up with a throw blanket and wedge myself between his back and the couch’s spine. He’s asleep before me, his big body twitching as the movie opens. I hug him and follow him down into dreamland.

In the dream, I’m in the closet, writing on the wall. I’m writingfuck you all. I’m writingplease help me.

My mom is right outside the door. I don’t know why she won’t come in.

“Please…”

I can’t move. I’m lying on my side, curled up. I’m so cold. The floor is hard, and I think my hip’s bleeding.

Someone carries me out. There’s nurses everywhere. My mom is whispering. I open my eyes to a bright room and I’m strapped down to the bed. My mom’s not here.

“Ezra!”

I open my eyes, and Mills is blurry.

“Hey, angel.” He’s rubbing my arms, holding me against his chest. “You okay? That one took a minute.” He looks worried.

“What was I saying?” I manage to croak.

“You were saying your mom’s name,” he whispers.

He hugs me harder, rubbing my back. I’m still breathing hard and fast. “I gotchu, Ezzie. We’re okay. We’re on the couch.”

I nod. Tears are dripping down my face, still.

I wrap an arm around him. Miller is so warm and solid. He won’t let me be locked up.

“I love you.” He kisses my forehead, then my cheek. “Whatever happened, you didn’t deserve it. Okay?”

More tears drip down my cheeks, and I cover my face.

I realize I’m shivering—this weird thing that’s happened a few times after I wake up. I think it’s adrenaline or something. Miller hugs me tighter, puts his hand on my chest.

“You’re okay. Look at me. Breathe with me.”

I do, and when my eyes shut, he kisses my eyelids. His arms come around my shoulders, wrapping me up. I still feel weird. Like zoned out.

He tucks my head against his chest and rubs his palm over the back of my head…over and over—down my nape and down my back. My eyelids start getting heavy again.

“Every single day you’re alive takes you further from that shit,” he whispers.

Sometime later, I feel something tickling my forearm.

Mills murmurs, “Got some markers. Tatting you up.” He chuckles, and the feeling of him drawing on me puts me back to sleep.

Four

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