Page 140 of Wrath

“Not at all?”

“She calls sometimes,” he whispers. “I try to answer one of every four. Just tell her basics. So she thinks I’m okay.”

“And are you okay, angel?”

“Yeah.” He curls against me more. “Don’t be scared about that, Mills.”

“I am scared. I’m really scared of something happening to you.”

“Nothing will happen.”

“Those pills scare me,” I manage.

“You want me to toss them?”

“I don’t know. What if you need them?”

“I won’t need them.”

“You might need the Xanax.”

“Not the other ones. I never needed them to start with.”

“Why do you have them?” I’ve waited weeks and weeks to broach this subject again. I don’t want to make him feel pushed. “You don’t have to tell me,” I say quickly.

I feel him drag a breath in. He sits up. “It’s okay.” He looks at me and then down at the sand, as he crosses his legs.He looks at me again, holding my eyes. I can tell he’s gonna spill some deets, so I put my hand on his knee.

“My mom sent me somewhere. Last year,” he says softly. “She thought I was gay. She didn’t want that. So, she sent me to…this boarding school.” He blows a breath out. “It…wasn’t a good experience.”

Now his gaze breaks from mine, dipping down to his lap. “I ended up in the hospital.”

I frown, not understanding.

He looks at me like he’s trying to tell me the whole story—just with his face.He says, “I don’t want to take that stuff.”

My heart is racing as I urge him back down into my lap. It’s all I can do to keep my voice steady as I ask, “Do you feel good without it? It’s okay to take meds if you need to.”

He nods. “Better without.” He sits up again. “You lie down,” he whispers. I do—I lie on my back—and he lies on his side, so that he’s facing me, his cheek propped in his palm. He runs his hand under my shirt and then around my side, holding my hip. His hand comes back over my belly.

I squeeze my eyes shut. “Not as cut as yours.”My lips twitch.

“You’re perfect.” He gets between my legs and kisses my throat, holds my face in his hands. “Every fucking freckle...” He gives my cheeks little, soft kisses. He kisses my temple. “Your soft hair. Wavy hair.” He kisses my forehead. “That’s why I hated you, you know,” he whispers, looking down into my eyes. “Too perfect. Tempting. Something that I couldn’t have. And shouldn’t want.” He kisses my mouth lightly. “But I wanted you. So fucking bad. It was fucking me up. So I started messing with you.”

He moves down me, kissing my shoulder. “I still regret it.” He moves lower, lifting up my shirt to kiss around my navel.“You deserve the best.” He looks up at me, and there’s something in his eyes—or on his face. I don’t know what it is, but he looks sad.

I reach down, ruffling his hair. “I forgive you, angel. You are the best.”

“When we get to college, if you want another—”

“What the fuck?” I pull him to me. “Angel.” I urge him to lie over me, so we’re face to face. “I don’t want another guy. In college, it’ll be like right now. But we’ll be in college.” I grin. “More time alone. Someone needs to get an apartment and we can live there all the time.”

His eyes look wide. “You want that?”

“Yes. Do you?” My stomach pitches.

“Yeah. Of course. You’re all I want.” He kisses my jaw. “Only my Miller.” His lips find mine.

We get hot and heavy, forcing us to the Jeep, where we jerk each other off.

---