Page 38 of Valley

Chapter Twenty-Three

A SHARP KICKto my side jolted me awake, andI groaned as my eyes slit open to find the asshole who did it. Midnight’s silhouette loomed over me, his expression a mix of frustration and concern. “What the fuck is going on with you?” he growled, sitting down beside me on the ground.

The early morning sunlight pierced my eyes, intensifying the pounding in my head. I groaned again, closing my eyes against the glare. “I got fucking wasted last night and must have passed out.” My mind struggled to piece together the fragments of last night through the relentless throbbing in my skull.

“I can see that,” Midnight said, his voice carrying a mix of irritation and worry. “What I’m asking is why?”

“Do I need a reason, mommy?” I shot back sarcastically, the hangover making me irritable.

“Something’s up with you, and being a smartass isn’t gonna fix it,” he snapped. “Is this about Madeline? What happened between you two?”

I hesitated, the question I’d been dying to ask him for years finally surfacing. “Do you ever see her?” I opened my eyes, looking directly at him, searching his face for any sign of understanding.

He looked confused. “Who?”

“Kezia,” I murmured, closing my eyes again, already knowing from his reaction that he didn’t.

“No, I don’t, but I’m guessing you do?”

I let out a long breath, deciding to lay it all out. If I looked crazy, so be it. “Yeah, she blames me for what happened to her and warns me away from other women,” I confessed. “That’s why I never get into serious relationships. Until Madeline.”

Midnight was silent for a few moments, the weight of my words sinking in. Finally, he spoke, his voice softer. “Valley, I think the guilt you feel about Kezia is messing with your head. Our minds can do some weird shit if we let it.”

“No, this is different, but I don’t expect you to believe me. Shit, I wouldn’t believe me either,” I said, forcing myself to stand, leaning against the wall to steady my spinning world.

“Is that why you dropped Madeline?” Midnight probed, standing and leaning on the wall beside me. “I thought it was weird since you seemed really into her.”

“Kezia threatened to hurt her,” I said, not caring anymore if I sounded like a nut. “And I couldn’t let that happen.”

“Valley, listen to me,” Midnight said, his voice earnest. “Kezia would have never hurt a fucking fly, let alone anotherperson. Whatever you think you’re seeing or hearing, it’s not Kezia. She’s flying in Heaven right now, an angel.”

I knew what he was saying should be true, but I couldn’t shake what I’d been experiencing. What about the beads that kept showing up? I could mention those, but he still wouldn’t believe me. “You’re right. Maybe I’m just feeling guilty,” I conceded, not believing it for a second.

“The anniversary of her death is coming up, and that could be causing this. Why don’t you go to her grave and let out all of your guilt? That’s what I did years ago to ease my mind, and it helped,” he advised, not bothering to mention my birthday, which I never celebrated since that night when I was seventeen.

“I’ve done that a hundred times over, Midnight,” I said, moving away from the wall. “I need a shower.”

Midnight grabbed my arm, stopping me. “Let me ask you this,” he started. “If what you say is true, then wouldn’t Madeline be safer with you than without you?” At my confused look, he added, “You love her, right? And if you’re anything like me, you can’t stay away from her. It’s not possible. Your ghost would know this, so pushing her away is pointless.”

I’ll be damned if that didn’t make sense, because I sure as hell hadn’t been able to stay away from her.

“Just think about that,” Midnight said, taking my silence for what it was. “And for god’s sake, go take that shower before everyone shows up for the picnic. You smell like a brewery, brother.”

I took a sniff and fuck; he was right. So, I headed inside, his words playing over and over again in my head. Maybe I had been going about this all wrong, and it was time to find a way to banish Kezia’s ghost.

“I’M NOT GOINGto lie, Madeline. I don’t knowif I like you going to that clubhouse,” Dad said, his voice heavy with concern as we sat at the breakfast table.

I reached out and took his hand, smiling warmly. “I appreciate the concern, but it’ll be fine. It’s only a picnic.” I squeezed his hand reassuringly. “I understand, and that’s why I agreed not to take Ellie.” Casimir had offered to bring Ellie along since Toby would be there, but I sided with Dad on this one.

I had no idea what to expect.

Dad’s expression didn’t soften. “I’m not worried about Sean. It’s Jarrod that concerns me,” he said, his grip tightening on my hand. “He’ll be there, and jealousy is a dangerous thing.”

“I can handle it, Dad,” I promised, standing to clear my dishes. “Jarrod doesn’t care enough to fight over me.”

Dad grunted, his eyes darkening. “That’s not true. Men who don’t care don’t sit outside a woman’s home at all hours. He cares, but why he did what he did...” He trailed off, frustration evident in his voice.

I cleaned Ellie’s tray and wiped her face, my mind swirling with Dad’s words. Jarrod had hurt me deeply, and the scars werestill fresh. “I’m not worried. I’ll be among friends,” I assured him, lifting Ellie out of the highchair.