Page 64 of Little Psycho

“Yeah, and I already finished it.”I push my way inside the apartment, hearing my heart thud in my ears as I catch Killian and Ash staring at me from across the room; their jaws drop to the floor.

The heat blows through the vents above me, bringing my body temperature back to normal, making me hotter than I want to be.The overwhelming aroma of pot, cologne, and vanilla mix together, making my nose tingle as I breathe in.Shockingly enough, this place feels like home—something I haven’t gotten to experience in a long fucking time.

With my focus heavy on the guys sitting on the couch, reality comes back to me, and my palms become sweaty as I think about having to get to know the three of them all over again.

Fuck, this is it.This is the moment I’ve been wanting for so fucking long; I just want it to be under different circumstances.

Dom shuts the front door and walks around me, joining Ash and Kill on the couch and fixating his glassy eyes on mine as if he’s trying to search for something deep within them.But he isn’t going to find anything because I’m dead as fuck inside.

A small smile tugs at the corners of my lips as I look at them, but I refuse to let it reach my eyes.These are the boys I fell in love with.They protected me, guided me, and loved me as much as I loved them.But in the blink of an eye, they shattered the special bond we had, teaching me a very valuable lesson in the process of heartbreak: it doesn’t matter how well you know a person, you can’t count on or trust anyone but yourself.

A part of me wants to walk right out the door, to leave and never look back.But another part of me knows I need to be here to face the truth, to address the elephant in the room, and to come clean about what my intentions really are.The uneasy tension in the air is thick and suffocating, and I know I can’t keep them in the dark for much longer, even though it’s fun as fuck watching them squirm.

Taking a deep breath, I finally speak up.“It’s been a long fucking time.”I force a smile, noticing the fear and hesitation in their curious eyes.“We need to talk.”The words hang heavy in the room, and for a moment there is nothing but uncomfortable silence as they exchange wary glances with each other.

“I knew it was you watching us—I fucking knew I saw you,” Killian says softly, and a random pang of guilt hits me like a fucking ton of bricks.

“You did?”I stammer, unable to meet his intimidating gaze.

Ash nods.“We’re so fucking sorry, Calista, really.”

Upon hearing his apology, the weight of relief washes over me, though my chest still feels tight with apprehension as I take a few steps closer to them, fidgeting with the soaked hem of my shirt, still clinging to my body.

All of a sudden, Kill and Ash jump up from the couch and charge at me, wrapping their arms around me in a tight embrace.Peering over their shoulders, I lock eyes with Dom as he sits on the couch, returning the smile he has flaunting on his lips.Forcing my arms up, I hug them back—briefly—before pulling away and taking a defensive stance with my body straight and stiff and my arms crossed over my chest—as if they’re going to hurt me all over again.

I know it wasn’t their fault.I know they didn’t want to do what their fathers forced them to.But the fact of the matter is they still did, and it absolutely fucking ruined me.It’s all I can think about.

“Come sit down so we can talk,” Kill urges, trying to tug my wrist to get me to the couch, causing me to begin to panic.

I yank it out of his grasp and shake my head, refusing to fall for the charm radiating off of each one of them.

“No, I’m fine right here.”

“Calista, we’re not going to fucking hurt you.For fucks sake, you’re the one who was in my bed with a damn knife to my throat last night.”Dom glares at me, his eyes wide and dark with the same dangerous look he had last night when we were fucking.

Is it bad that it turns me on?

“I’m not here to make up and be one big happy family—at least not right now, Dom,” I snap, lighting a much-needed cigarette.

Watching him pull out a little rock of heroin, he drops it into the bent, burnt spoon on the table and begins to prepare a shot.My mouth waters at the sight, knowing just how good the drug would make me feel right now.

To my surprise, he pulls out a fresh rig and draws up the brown liquid, handing it to me without even looking up.“Here, it’s yours if you want it.”

I snatch the needle out of his hand and collapse in the chair across from them, flexing my fist to get my veins to pop.Glancing at them, I watch as each one gets high in their own way, wondering when their lives got so bad that they turned to drugs to ease the pain.But I can’t talk or judge, since I overmedicate, cut myself, and get high on anything I can get my hands on.

Trauma changes a person.It doesn’t matter what kind.Everyone copes differently, and unfortunately for our group, we all turned to drugs to numb the pain and make living life more tolerable.

So as I stick the needle in a vein on my hand and push the liquid into my body, I force the bad shit to the back of my head, where it lives rent-free.I squeeze my eyes shut and lean back, riding the rush that surges through my body until every part of me is numb and tingling.

When I open them, Dom is standing in front of me, looking down at me with a dopey expression on his gorgeous face as his green eyes sparkle like emeralds hitting the sun just right, even though it’s cloudy and pouring.I resist the urge to grab him and pull him down to my level, gripping the arms of the chair.

“Feel better?”he asks, a playful smirk curling on his lips.

“For now,” I mutter, matching his flirtatious tone.

“If you want more, just ask one of them.”He points behind him to the guys, refusing to turn around.“I’m heading off to work, so play nice,” he says smugly, and then he finally leans in and presses a soft kiss on the middle of my forehead before walking out the door without another word.

Nervously, I glance at Ash, then Killian, not knowing what the rest of the day has in store for the three of us.The silence surrounding us is broken by a cell phone ringing, a grave reminder that I need to be careful in case they spill the secret about where I am.Of course, the look they share doesn’t make me feel any better, and paranoia begins to weave its way into my body.

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