Page 27 of Little Psycho

Even as I breathe a sigh of relief, I feel the rage build within me—the need to fight back—to resist against the chains and break the bonds they’ve wrapped around us for so long.But as long as our fathers hold the power, we will forever be under their control.It’s a relentless cycle that we can’t break free from—that we were never meant to break free from.We were all dealt a shitty hand and suffered in our torment together but alone at the same time.Once terrified of the gloom, we embrace it instead, finding the place we were always destined for but never knew it.

The same darkness we tried to avoid, we welcomed with open arms, finding peace in the broken parts of each other.We used the shadows that followed us to guide our paths instead of the light we were never meant to see.We used to be afraid of the darkness.But how can we be afraid of the darkness if we’ve lived in it our entire lives?

Looking between Dom and Kill and seeing the pain in their eyes, I hold onto a flicker of hope, knowing that as long as we don’t give up, we can fight to survive another day.

“Now,” my father begins, snatching the liquor bottle out of my hand and taking a sip.“We need your help, and before you each say no, understand that it’s not a fucking option.”

We sit in silence as they continue to explain, our hearts sinking deeper with every word they speak.They’ve never been able to take no for an answer, and we’ve learned the hard way that resistance only leads to more pain.

TEN

PSYCHOTIC

UNHOLY CONFESSIONS—AVENGED SEVENFOLD

CALISTA

Ifeel like I’m coming down, crashing from an unbelievable high.My body doesn’t feel right, and my mind is playing fucking tricks on me, hitting me with flashbacks of my time spent chained in the attic.But why now?I had an unusually amazing night with Five—I’d never felt that happy before.

But now, I sit huddled in a dark corner in his bedroom with my knees pulled against my chest, rocking back and forth while trying to shake the filth from my head.

I haven’t seen Addy.I haven’t talked to her either.She was the only one I’ve ever had who stayed by my side, and now she’s gone, sending me spiraling into a never-ending black hole of darkness and despair.

I can feel tears sliding down my cheeks, my once bright smile suddenly gone.Pulling my hood over my head and tucking my face between my knees, I rock faster, trying to become invisible.But it doesn’t work.

I keep thinking about the man I killed and how I escaped, terrified that Gunnar or my parents will find me and bring me back to hell.I can’t go back.I’ll never fucking go back.

I need my meds, but they’re too far out of my grasp, my backpack on the couch in Five’s living room.The inside of my thighs begins to itch, and a painful burning sensation spreads like fire across my skin.My scars throb, and all I want to do is create more of them, knowing that cutting myself is the only way I’ve learned how to stop the pain.

“Addy?”Suddenly Five calls out to me, but I’m too afraid to look up and face him.

Is he going to get mad at me?Is he going to hurt me?Will he hit me like my parents did when I was having an episode?I’m too afraid to find out.But he doesn’t go away as much as I hope for under my breath, still rocking back and forth.

I can feel him close to me, his shadow blocking the flickering, dim light filtering in through the window.He crouches down and puts his hand on my shoulder, making me flinch out of habit.But I manage to stop rocking, feeling the warmth from his hand through my sweatshirt.

Then he speaks softly, “Little Mystery, what’s going on?Talk to me.”

I reluctantly lift my head, my eyes meeting his concerned gaze; it’s like he can see right through me, and for the first time in a long while, I’m not afraid of a stranger so close to me.

“I need my medicine,” I whisper, my voice barely audible.

Without hesitation, Five gets up and retrieves my backpack, pulling out my medication and handing it to me.“Take them,” he says gently.“It's going to be okay—you’re going to be okay.”

Taking out a few extras, I swallow the pills with a dry mouth, feeling their calming effects slowly spread through me.The burning and itching begin to subside, and the weight on my chest feels a little lighter.But Addy still isn’t here, which hurts my heart and breaks it even more.

Five sits with me, not saying anything, just being here.And that’s all I need right now—someone to just be there for me.I wipe the tears from my cheeks and manage a weak smile.

“Thank you,” I say, forcing a smile.

Five nods, his eyes filled with understanding.“Don’t thank me,” he replies.“Just let me know if there’s anything I can do for you.”

I return the nod, finally leaning into him, my head resting on his shoulder.He puts his arm around my back and pulls me even closer, lazily dragging his fingers up and down the side of my arm.

I have no idea how long we sit in the corner on the uncomfortable hardwood floor, but by the time we both stand up, I feel ten times better.

“Do you want to talk about what just happened?”Sitting on the bed, he asks cautiously, gently tugging me down on the end of the bed beside him.

“You should be calling me Little Psycho, Five, cus I’m as fucking crazy as they come,” I admit, laughing wickedly at my own pain.

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