Page 56 of Risky Vows

I appreciate her offer, but we've never had a relationship involving sharing, laughs, or tears. I'm unsure if I want to start one now I’ve finally learned to stand up to her. "It's sad that Andie died. She would’ve been a good mother."

"You'll be a good mother one day too."

I hope so. I give her a close-lipped smile.

"I wasn't the best mother," she says, shuffling in her seat. "Your brother was in his teens when I got pregnant with you. Because he was a boy, your dad took over many decisions regarding Alonzo. With you, I was reminded of how my mom raised me. She raised me to be someone's wife. Someone important, if I was lucky."

I never met my grandmother; from her stern, aloof expressions in the old pictures, I believe what my mom says. I process her words. Sure, I bet it was different for her to parent a daughter when she already had a son who was way more independent. A son who had fulfilled their need for an heir. But that doesn’t justify her crappy treatment of me. All the unnecessary criticism, cold stares, and lack of affection. "Why are you telling me all this?"

"Because a young woman died, and it could have been you. I've wanted to see you and make sure you were okay for a couple of days, and your husband wouldn't let me."

"Mom… I can't give you what you need right now. I can't reassure you. That would be a lie. You've been a crappy mother, more worried about optics than how I felt. I dealt with your fat shaming my entire life, but when Ugo beat me up, and you sided with him, that broke a part of me that took a while to heal," I say, a mix of emotions swirling inside me. I'm glad I can set that boundary, but sad that it needs to be done.

"I know. I wish I had an excuse."

I cross my arms over my chest. "If you're here to feel less guilty or make sure I'm alive, well, yes, I'm alive. You can go back."

"Amara… even though I'm your mom, you turned into this caring, smart woman." Tears brim her eyes. "I'll watch you grow, even from a distance. I know I can't ask you for forgiveness. But know that if I had the opportunity to do it all over again, I would act differently."

I thread my fingers together, fidgeting. To hear her say she'd act differently if she had to do it all over again means she's learned something and gives me a small measure of joy. But I can't fool myself. My mom is still talking about this, and I don't have the mind space for more games. "Thank you for your words. I don't wish you anything bad. I just… don't have the energy to put effort into our relationship now."

She surges to her feet promptly, like we’ve ended a business meeting, and smooths her hand over her blouse. "That's fair. Like I said, you’re smart."

I smile. My mom isn’t used to not getting her way, but I suppose it could be worse.

She takes a couple of steps toward the door, then turns and looks at me. "Before I go, I wanted to let you know that your husband talked to Alonzo. All will be resolved."

I tilt my head to the side, trying to understand what I just heard. "How so?"

"Alonzo will come back and work for Massimo, even though he's not happy about it. But he won't come back in the same capacity as before. Once things settle down, Massimo can promote him—but Massimo will continue being the don, so that will be the consensus."

"So he preserves his street cred, and Alonzo gets to live,” I say, my voice sounding lighter with each word that escapes my lips.

My mom nods, a soft expression taking over her face. "Yes. It turns out that whoever told Massimo has a big mouth. Your husband is worried about optics, too. I guess he and I have something in common."

"He's generous," I say.

My heart sings, break dances, and waltzes all at once.

Massimo loves me. Even if he hasn't said it, his behavior does. He's been by my side, caring for me, and has welcomed Alonzo back even when he didn't have to. I know that working with Alonzo is far from ideal and could be a liability for him. But he did it anyway.

I love him, too. And we have to make it right.

34

Massimo

I enter our suite and find the bed freshly made and empty. "Amara?"

Heads will roll if someone let her leave without me. I didn't want to leave for more than an hour or so, but she slept well at night, and the morning news of Andie's death changed my plans. I had to show up for Dante and give him my support.

Ross Santini is still out, and he'll be twice as mad when he finds out we broke in and snatched the girls back so close to his arrival at the abandoned house.

Though, I cynically ponder, Andie dying must have given him some satisfaction. But that still doesn't change reality. He'll always lurk, waiting for a chance to fuck us. We have to be one step ahead.

"I'm here," she says softly, coming from the terrace and closing the door behind her. She wears a long white dress with a flowy hem. Her face is still bruised, but she has a softer expression than she did last night.

Colleen informed me that she’d told her about Andie's passing. I was with my brother all day, keeping him company.Figuring out how a mafia man will raise a child without her mom.

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