Page 78 of Karma

He motions for some of the brothers hanging back to come closer. “Take them to the bunker.”

“What? No!” I say and leap to my feet. One of the Devils steps forward and has my arms in a lock before I can blink. I have a feeling it could’ve just as easily been his knife that had stopped me.

“That wasn’t a request,” Cross says and I nod automatically.

“If your information is solid, you’ll be free to go,” Cross adds then marches out of the room.

The guy holding me releases my arms and I sit back down, wishing we had something strong to drink on the table in front of us. My heart’s racing so hard the room is spinning slightly before my eyes.

We can’t talk yet, because the Devils are still watching us. But as soon as we’re alone, I’ll tell them that we have to play this one safely, go along with everything, convince Cross that we’re on their side. It’s the only way we’re gonna get out of this alive. It won’t be hard, since I’d like to kill Joker myself for this situation he’s put all of us in.

By now, Scorpio knows we’ve betrayed him. It’s a very cold thought. Like a blanket of snow and ice over what was once a lush, flowering meadow full of promise and warmth. I still feel his pull like we’re attached by a strong fisherman’s rope that’s being stretched very tight now. But it hasn’t broken yet. That gives me some hope. A fool’s hope, probably. Even if there’s a chance he’ll forgive us, he probably won’t live long enough to do it now that the Devils are coming for them.

Just from what I’ve seen today, they’re like a well-oiled machine, moving as one to get things done. They don’t even have to talk for everyone to know exactly what has to be done and do it effectively and efficiently.

But if that’s how it’s gotta be, so be it. I’ll gladly die by Scorpio’s side in this war. Even fighting on opposite sides.

He’s given me back something I thought I lost forever. Hope. For a future. For a better life. But it’s even more than that. He’s given me my heart back. It had grown cold and hard like a stone in my chest, but he’s shown me it still beats, still flutters, still can love.

And if that’s not a thing worth dying for, nothing is. I just have to tell him I’m sorry first.

41

Scorpio

After I unchained Eden, I sat down on the sofa downstairs and drank until thewhysstopped echoing in my head. Why did they betray me? Why did I trust them? Why didn’t I just walk away and cut my losses while I still could? Why does nothing in my life ever turn out good?

Even as I couldn’t hold another thought in my head, I still knew the questions would be there when I woke up. And that I wouldn’t have done a damn thing differently if I had a do over. Maybe it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

I still have none of the answers now, as Joker’s livid, red face is staring me down, brighter and harder to look at than the sun streaming in through the windows.

“Did I say you could feed her?” he barks at me.

I sat up too fast and now the room is spinning around me. And here’s another question I don’t know how to answer.

“Or did I tell you to leave her chained up and hungry?” he adds.

I reach for the bottle on the floor beside me, hoping there’s still enough whiskey left in it to take the edge of this hangover. Thankfully, it’s still about a third full. Should work. I drink as much as I can before the burning grows unbearable.

“That second one,” I say enjoying the cool air in my throat. I raise the bottle to drink some more, but Joker yanks it from my hand, barely missing my teeth. It’d be funny if he accidentally knocked out my teeth too… in that,let’s see how many things can still go wrong?way.I wish I could laugh, but I really do not feel like laughing.

“No more drinking,” he snaps. “You’re falling apart bad enough without being drunk all the time.”

Now that’s fucking out of line.

I yank the bottle back, glaring at him. “I’m not falling apart.”

“Yeah, you weren’t,” he says. “Until you saw her chained up and it stirred up memories…”

I don’t remember the last time I was this angry at him. Possibly never. I can’t believe he’s bringing this up. I just barely got done forgetting it all again. Fucking wannabe shrink. He should pay more attention to his own damn self and whatever feelings he’s grown for the woman upstairs. He’s the one falling apart. He’s the one endangering our revenge. But I’m done being his conscience, and his emotions, and his damn common sense.

“You want her pissing and shitting all over herself up there, fine. It’s your show,” I say and stand up, looking around for my boots and my shirt. “But fuck you for bringing all the rest of that shit up. We don’t talk about it.”

I glance at him, happy to find he looks slightly cowed. We don’t talk about what happened to me all those years ago, in that house. Even if that wasn’t already clear, I made it clear when he tried to make me face it all again back in Chicago.

I did face it. With Karma and Grim in a deserted, overgrown campsite by the light and warmth of a fire and love. But that’snow become yet another wound I’ll have to survive. This one is still bleeding. I don’t think it’ll ever stop.

“If you can’t handle this part of the mission, you’re free to go help Razor keep the Devils off our scent in Roaring Brook,” he says calmly.

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