Page 52 of Karma

27

Karma

I fell asleep with both Grim and Scorpio holding me and I’d hoped to wake up that way too. No such luck. The room is dark when I wake, the sky outside the windows starless, I’m alone and even their smell is gone. It’s replaced by the smell of this rancid inn. Death. In all its many shades.

But I’m still a little high from the orgasm they gave me and I’m not ready to start complaining again, not even in my head. Although this place is top of my list of places I never want to stay at. But Grim has known the owner, Eddie since before my time and we find ourselves here more often than not. But honestly, I’d rather be here, exploring this thing that makes me forget how much I hate dirty sheets, than anywhere else.

The party downstairs is well on its way, loud music, laughter, fistfights, and the clink of bottles rising from the bar. The party is wild in several of the rooms too, heralded by moans and screams and the creaking and banging of beds. Strangely, it’s not as off-putting as usual, or making me wish to make a run for it. I just want some of that too.

Used to be, wild places like this excited me. Places where anything can happen and often does. I was alive, I was free and I could do anything I wanted to. And I did. I’m not sure when that changed. But now the tendrils linking me back to those years of carefree fun are growing stronger and brighter. I might be ready to let them pull me back again.

So much so I even chance a shower in the questionable bathroom where the tub is brown and black with more than just normal rust. But I won’t think about that.

My excitement wanes somewhat as I have to dodge no less than six guys on my way downstairs, drunk off their assess and looking for a good time. As if anyone could show me a better time than what I have right now.

The party in the bar has spilled into the parking lot, where fires are burning, making the sea of bikes parked in front of the bar glow orange and look like the world is engulfed in flame. The shadows beyond the firelight are alive too. There’s people fighting, dancing, even fucking and the inside of the bar is calm in comparison.

Grim is standing by the bar talking to Eddie, and Scorpio is sitting at a table with his back to the wall, sort of seeing nothing and everything at the same time. He sees me clearly; I feel his gaze follow me all the way to the bar where I grab a cold beer and pay for it by placing a couple of bills into the jar next to the cooler.

Grim notices me too. And how! I don’t remember the last time his eyes on me made electricity dance through my veins the way it does tonight. But I remember it used to. In the beginning and for years afterwards. I’m ready for the tendrils to pull me back to that time too.

I walk slowly past Scorpio’s table, making sure he knows I know he’s watching me, which rewards me with a small smile that is just for me. But it turns into a frown the moment I sitdown next to Joker where he’s playing poker with three Devil’s Nightmare MC guys. They don’t look like they’re about to go to war against each other, and I want to find out what the hell that means.

They all know me, but have clearly been instructed not to show it, just like we had been. I do get some interesting looks though. Not lewd though. They’ve tried that in the past and it led no further than Reaper’s fists. I’m glad he never beat up Scorpio. That handsome face is too good to waste like that. Maybe he felt the same way. Just one more thing I’ll never find out now. The grief still burns when it comes at me like this, unexpected. Still takes my breath away. But it’s getting easier not to focus on it so hard.

“Deal me in,” I say toss a couple of crumpled up bills on the table. They’re not playing for terribly high stakes, so I should be able to hold my own. But I’m not here to win money. I just need the chance to see what they’re thinking. I’m good at reading men’s faces.

But a couple of hands later, the only faces I can read are Grim’s and Scorpio’s. They’re sitting side by side now, both focused solely on me. Psycho who is also sitting with them looks kind of forlorn, since he’s getting no attention. Just the fact that they’re together warms my heart. Even the loud conversations all around us are just a familiar, almost pleasant buzz as I bask in their attention and the smoke trailing low in the air makes it seem like a scene from some good movie. Just a couple of weeks ago, I thought I’d never be happy again. Now my very skin is spiking with it.

Not to mention it all makes Joker’s stupid conversation easier to bear.

He usually wins, since he’s clearly got this game all figured out. Or he’s cheating. I wouldn’t put it past him either way. I sense absolutely no animosity between him and the other threeguys. At least none that’s not related to how much money they’ve already lost to him.

“What will it be?” I ask him since he’s taking an abnormally long time to make a bet.

He goes all in. And wins again with a full house. If his shirt sleeves weren’t rolled up to the elbows, I’d be sure he was palming cards, but as it is, I don’t know how he keeps winning.

He clears out after that, which I take as a cue that Scorpio is finally off the clock too. I get another beer from the bar then walk over to Grim, sitting in his lap and wrapping my arm around his shoulders. He tenses under me, probably because we don’t usually display our affection publicly. But we used to and tonight’s the night when it all comes back. I’ve already decided.

Psycho grins at us then takes it as his cue to find his fun elsewhere for the night.

“How about we go outside,” I say, making sure Scorpio can hear me too. “I want to watch the stars.”

Grim grunts then stands up with me in his arms before setting me down and leading me outside by my hand. Another thing he hasn’t done in ages. We’ve belonged to each other for so long that we’ve stopped showing it. But I’m once again ready to let the whole world know who I belong to. And as soon as Scorpio can stop ignoring me, I’ll show the whole world that he belongs to me too.

Grim leads me to a grassy spot beside the back wall. We’re hidden from view from the parking lot and the bar, there’s no people here and no fires are burning near. the sky above us is covered with stars so bright their light illuminates even that absolute darkness between them that holds them in place.

Scorpio is right behind us, but he doesn’t sit in the spot beside me that I tapped when I saw him.

“You guys aren’t gonna give me shit about Joker again tonight, are you?” he asks, sounding like someone who’s as sick of feeling bad as I am.

“No,” I say as Grim shakes his head. “I don’t want to argue tonight.”

“Me either,” Grim says.

“Me three,” Scorpio adds as he finally sits down next to me, wrapping his arm around my waist because my shoulders are already occupied by Grim’s. I lean against them both, which isn’t hard to do with how close they’re holding me.

“I remember this place from back when it was the Stone Dogs MC clubhouse,” Grim says.

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