Page 50 of Karma

The sun’s beating down mercilessly, as though autumn isn’t just around the corner, as Karma and I follow him across a patch of weed-infested concrete to a workout station that’s just as rundown as the rest of this place. We’re in a part of this compound that truly is abandoned now and the squat building next to the workout equipment has a stench rising from it that makes me sure someone died in there and no one ever found them.

“Didn’t I tell you to move on?” Scorpio asks once we reach him.

“Yeah, you don’t get to tell us what to do,” Karma says, snatching the words right from my mouth. I’m glad to hear the fire in her voice. Makes me hopeful she’s maybe starting to move on from him and this insanity.

But then he looks at me and grins and I suddenly know exactly why I was so angry that he ignored me before.

“You look like you want to murder me, Grim,” he says. “So why are you here?”

“I don’t want to murder you,” I say, because maybe it’s time for some hard honesty all around. “I just don’t like being ignored.”

He smiles wider and it’s enough to get my dick semi-hard. Like always when he does it. I should maybe be more honest about that particular reaction too. With myself most of all.

“But that’s how it’s gotta be now,” he says. “Didn’t Joker talk to you?”

“He did,” Karma says. “Told us we’re pretending not to know each other.”

“But there’s that and then there’s looking right through us,” I add.

His smile wanes a little, but then he walks over and puts his arms around our shoulders.

“I’m glad you came,” he says. “Despite what I said.”

This is the exact opposite of being ignored by him, so much so, it’s more than a little dizzying.

“We have some time now. Joker left,” he says. “Do you guys have a room yet?”

One of these days we’ll have to talk about things. Not just argue or fuck. But it won’t be today. And that’s just as well. I’m no good at talking about my feelings. Or possibly even admitting I have them. But showing them… that’s a different matter. Just as soon as I get them all straight in my head. Which also doesn’t look like it’s happening anytime soon. I’ve never met anyone who could make me so mad my blood wants to explode through my skin… and then calm me down with just a smile and an invitation I can’t refuse.

“Let’s go,” I say and Karma finally smiles for the first time since we got here.

As traitorous as it may sound, even in my own head, neither Karma nor Reaper could ever destabilize me the way he can. They could in other ways, sure, better ways, maybe. Calmer ways, definitely. I killed to be with Reaper, but after that, he gave me peace. And once Karma came along, it was all smooth sailing. Nothing but pleasure. They reined in my intensity. Channeled it to do no harm. Made me a better man.

But Scorpio… he makes me forget all reason until I just want to go wild. Berserker style. Do things without thinking. Flare up at the slightest provocation. Abandon all common sense and let loose.

I’m too old for that shit. But I can’t walk away. That much is now clear to me. As for where this leads… I’m not even sure I want that answer. Because this thing we’ve started has an expiration date. And it’s almost here.

I hope I’ll figure it out in time and stop myself from dragging my whole MC into a war we can’t win just to make sure I don’t lose him, when I don’t even know if I want to keep him.

He’s right. Just fucking is simpler. And I’m not even getting that from him. Which is the craziest part of all this.

26

Scorpio

The trip up to my room at the inn seemed to take about a second. One moment I was standing by the decrepit workout set, trying to figure out how angry they were at me, and if I want to be alone in a room with a man and woman who very clearly were angry with me. Then blink, and we were standing on the creaky floorboards of my top floor room, the dust we kicked up as we entered glimmering in the sunlight streaming through the grimy window.

The door is closed, I’m standing with my back to it and they’re both facing me, Grim’s eyes like blue lasers, Karma’s like the cloudy sky right before a summer storm.

I can clearly hear the moans, screams, snores and everything in between coming from the other rooms in this place. But I can also clearly hear the two of them breathing and my own heart racing. Truth is, I didn’t want to make them angry, or hurt them by ignoring them.

“So what do you think?” I ask, grinning at them. “I asked One-Arm Eddie for the nicest room, not one of the usual dumps.Turns out they’re all dumps, but at least this one has a dirty bathroom attached.”

I point at the door to it, which is just opposite the window and next to the huge king-size bed with sheets that are brownish as though they were washed in rusty water. Or worse.

“Eddie doesn’t like being called One-Arm,” Grim tells me.

“Don’t I know it,” I say. “I made the mistake of calling him that to his face once. Never again. But it sounds like you know each other since before Eddie lost his arm.”