Page 47 of Karma

He lets my question hang between us and I’m pretty sure he’s trying hard not to force the issue of my commitment. I hope he’ll succeed.

“I’ll make first contact with Eden tomorrow and after that we’re relocating to be closer to her,” he says.

“Aww, you’re going on your first real life date with her,” I say and grin. “Are you nervous?”

Eden is the daughter of Ice, the Devil’s Nightmare MC member who is directly responsible for the death of our families. Joker has been catfishing her online for the past couple of months and will now be doing the same in person, with the end goal of having her fall endlessly in love with him. I see no sense in this part of his plan. We should just grab her when she shows up for the date.

But the next part involves abducting and torturing her to hurt her father, and whatever delays that, is fine by me. Joker is so set on his plan to do all this that I won’t even try to dissuade him. And in my darker moments I do see the terrible poetic justice in it. I suffered for what my father did to hers. So why shouldn’t she? But then again, she’s just an innocent, cluelessyoung woman trying to live her best life. Who are we to take that away from her over something that is the past?

“I’m nervous something will go wrong,” he says. “And I see you’re still hoping it will.”

“How do you figure that?” I ask, springing forward in my chair to add some unspoken credence to my lie. “I’m with you. All the way. The Devils will pay their debt to us.”

Devil’s Nightmare MC are very proud of the fact that they always pay their debts, one way or another. Doing so, they’ve destroyed the lives of every member of Lost Sons MC in one way or another. So we like to say that we’re just making sure they pay their debt to us too. It’s become something like our war cry.

“That’s good to hear,” he says and turns back to the window.

He doesn’t press the issue, seems to believe my words even though I’m pretty sure he knows I’m lying. But he can’t really believe I’d ever be OK with him kidnapping and torturing a woman. That’s just a lie I tell him and he pretends to believe. He doesn’t want to hear the truth. And I won’t tell him, or stop him, because this part of the revenge is for him.

“So, again, what do you need me to do?” I ask after the long silence tells me I’m safe from having to hash out that lie with him for the moment.

“I need you to make sure the men are ready and that they know what to do,” he says. “Let them party tonight, but I want them sober by tomorrow afternoon and no more partying after that. Mission Eden is starting this weekend.”

I nod and stand up. “Good. Then I might as well go join the party if it’s the last one for a while. Wanna come?”

He looks at me over his shoulder. “Nah, I’ll need a clear head tomorrow. And you shouldn’t get too drunk either.”

“Whatever you say.” My drinking is another thing he likes to try to discuss with me and I don’t. Besides, he’s got nothing to worry about on that front tonight. I’ll spend some time with theguys. But then I’m riding off to that campsite and getting back on the happy train with Karma and Grim. Things make sense there. Here, not so much. Not anymore.

Although, it’s also not surprising that I want to live some more before I die. That’s probably all it is with Karma and Grim. They got their problems and I got mine. And we’re good at forgetting all of those when we’re together. It’s nothing more than that.

24

Karma

We’ve been in North Cali for a few days. Scorpio comes and goes now and he won’t tell us anything about what he’s doing when he’s not with us. He’s with us now. We’re sitting on the creaking porch swing at our cabin, the two of them leaning against each other with me draped across their laps, resting against Scorpio’s chest while Grim caresses my bare legs.

There’s no lake here, only tall redwoods and empty cabins all around, but it’s just as peaceful, with the sounds of the forest drowning out all other realities. It’s getting to that time of night when Scorpio usually leaves us to be with his MC. Sometimes he comes back before dawn. Sometimes he doesn’t. Every time he shifts beneath me, I dread that he’s gonna say he has to go. But tonight he got here late, so maybe he’s staying.

Whatever we’ve started here, it’s gotten to that point where something is missing whenever he’s not with us. For me definitely, and I’m starting to believe it’s the same for Grim. We don’t talk about it, because whenever we try, it ends up being a conversation about the war. Just like all our conversationsbefore ended up being about losing Reaper. Those are fewer now.

The solution we’ve come up with is that we don’t talk about anything important. Or anything that has to do with the future. Or the past. We just enjoy each other’s company.

And tonight, Scorpio is here. And yet he’s not.

He shifts again, and my heart misses a few beats. But he only moves his arm so it’s wrapped more snugly around my side.

“Do you have to leave tonight?” I ask, because I can’t stand the suspense any longer. Any more stops and starts to my heart and I might not recover.

“In a while,” he says. “We’re moving to Fire & Heart Inn, it’s this shitty place not far from here?— “

“We know the place,” Grim says.

“It’ll be harder for me to get away after today,” Scorpio adds, and his voice sounds as distant as the wind rustling the trees all around us, but not quite reaching us because they’re so dense.

“Why?” Grim asks.

“Because Joker needs me to watch his back.” There’s absolutely no way to tell whether this is something he’s fine with or not. I’m not.

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