Page 96 of Ruthless Lullaby

"For everything that happened between us. The way things ended. I wasn't a good boyfriend."

"Thanks, Maurice, but it’s okay. It's all in the past now."

"I let you down, Mindy,” he continues. “My own issues and insecurities got in the way of our relationship, and I'm truly sorry. You deserve better."

I must admit, I’m taken aback by this. Maurice is not the type to ponder about his actions. Not to mention that he always struggled to take responsibility for his own mistakes.

"I acted like an idiot at Maron's party," he confesses. "I had a bit too much to drink."

"We all have our slip-ups," I reassure him. "No need to beat yourself up."

He hesitates before continuing, staring down at his fidgeting fingers. "Let me break it down for you."

"Why bother? It's fine, really," I reply. I just want to end the conversation, finish my breakfast, and get back home to my test.

"No, it’s not Mindy. There are some things I need to set straight. You see, earlier that day I was at Maron's place. My stepmother has this thing called vascular dementia and... it hit me hard. It's a brutal disease, her brain is literally shrinking."

He’s not wrong. The elderly lady I'd met in Maron's mansion at night was beyond confused. But she’s still a lovely old woman. Too bad her son is a dangerous criminal who tortures people.

Maurice lets out a long sigh. "So, I had a drink to help me cope. And then I found out that Maron was having a party and that everyone was invited except me. That really hurt, so I just kept on drinking." He takes a deep breath. "Until I decided it was a good idea to go to the party, so I did. And when I saw you thereon stage,” he pauses. “I just got very jealous and I couldn't hold it in."

"Why are you telling me this now, Maurice?" I ask carefully.

“Because you need to know.” He meets my gaze and leans in closer. "That night, Maron and I had a huge argument. I thought… I thought that you and him are together and it's been eating me up inside ever since."

My heart skips a beat and my palms grow clammy with nerves. This is the last thing I need on my list right now. How could I possibly explain the tangled mess I've found myself in to Maurice of all people? Not that I owe him an explanation.

I gather my courage and decide to lie, hoping he won't see through me. "No," I say unconvincingly, "I was only there to sing. Nothing more."

“Oh...” Maurice's expression visibly changes. I can’t decide if he knows I’m lying to him or not. “That’s… good. It would kill me if you and my brother... you know.”

“Why?” I ask, staring at him in confusion. "You broke up with, Maurice. Not the other way around."

His gaze is heavy with remorse and yearning as he nods. "And I've regretted it every single day, since." He falls silent, then reaches across the table to take my hand in his. "I’ve changed, Mindy. I'm working on myself every day, trying to become a better person. I haven't touched booze since that disastrous party. I attend AA meetings regularly. And I have a stable job now."

"I'm happy to hear that, Maurice. Truly," I tell him, attempting to pull my hand away from his. But it only makes him tighten his grip.

"Do you think we could start again? Give our relationship another chance?"

I'm at a loss for words. Out of all the things I imagined Maurice telling me, this was the last one on my mind. It’s also the last thing I want to be dealing with right now. I glance at my watch from the corner of my eye, thinking about the test waiting for me at home.

"Maurice, I..." I trail off, my mind spinning with conflicting emotions. A part of me remembers the good times we shared, but I know that chapter of my life is over. I could never go back to Maurice after how things ended between us. And especially after what happened between Maron and me. It would be a disaster.

My stomach lurches forward without warning and I find myself thinking about that damn test again. Now I really want to kick myself for coming down here instead of peeing on a stick in my bathroom, waiting to find out if I’ve been knocked up by a dangerous mob boss or not. Even that seems more appealing than sitting in this booth, stuck between a rock and a hard place with my ex. What the hell has my life become? It's like something straight out of a terrible soap opera!

"I'm sorry," I say softly, finally managing to pull my hand from his grasp. "I can't. Too much has changed, Maurice. I've changed too."

He stares at me. "Mindy, please. Don't shut me out. Whatever it is, we can work through it together."

Without a moment's hesitation, I shake my head and start gathering my belongings. "No, Maurice. Thank you for being honest with me, but it’s over." I rise from my seat and push my chair back. Half of my fancy breakfast remains untouched on the plate. "I wish you all the best in finding someone who will appreciate you for who you are, Maurice. But that person won't be me. I’ve moved on." I look into his eyes. "Goodbye, Maurice."

I turn on my heels and exit the cafe, feeling the burn of his gaze on my back.

***

I shut the door behind me and my shoulders finally relax.

Betty has gone somewhere so I'm on my own. I head to the kitchen and make myself some tea. Then, I make another, and another, until my bladder is fit to burst.

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