Page 128 of Ruthless Lullaby

It’s too much. My fragile emotional state is more than enough for me to deal with right now. So, I shut my eyes and allow the tears to flow freely. I don't even bother to wipe them away.

"Then this is the second child I lost," Maron states matter-of-factly.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, the weight of his loss compounding my own grief.

"We were finally in a good place, Mindy," he says, keeping his tone flat. It’s the same, slightly intimidating tone he uses at corporate meetings. "You moved in and we made it work. My mother adored having you around. Our contract seemed unnecessary once we were together by choice." He sighs before he continues. "And now, I find out you've been pregnant for almost three months and kept it from me." He pauses for a moment as if gathering his thoughts. "I have doubts that the baby was mine, Mindy."

I feel his words pierce through my heart. "What are you saying?"

He shrugs nonchalantly. "Why else would you keep it a secret from me? The baby could be Maurice's. And that makes me wonder what else you're keeping from me."

I scoff at the suggestion. "That's ridiculous."

"Maybe for you," he concedes with a bitter tone. "If I knew about this, I would have taken care of you and our child. You denied me that chance, Mindy."

His words are like another slap in the face. I open and close my mouth, but I can’t think of anything to say. Maybe because there’s nothing to say. So, I just remain silent.

"I think we both need time to process this," he says, standing up. Tension radiates from his entire composure. "I should go now," he adds in a cold, distant tone.

Panic rises in my throat. The thought of him leaving right now feels unbearable. I want him by my side. I want us to share our grief over the precious life we lost.

"Please, Maron, don't go," I plead and my voice cracks with desperation. The idea of facing this loss without him feels wrong and terrifying.

He remains quiet, but I catch a glimpse of something new in his eyes - a flicker of pain, raw and unadulterated. It's an expression I’ve never seen on his face before, a vulnerability he keeps carefully hidden behind his tough exterior.

Without thinking, I reach for his hand and feel my fingers tremble as they intertwine with his. To my surprise, he doesn't pull away but also doesn't respond to the touch. The warmth of his skin against mine provides some solace amidst the tumultuous swirl of emotions within me.

Suddenly, I feel a strong sense of weariness wash over me. It comes out of nowhere and feels all-consuming. It tugs at my eyelids and makes my limbs feel leaden. I guess the heaviness of the recent hours is finally catching up to me.

"Please, Maron," I murmur weakly, my eyelids drooping from the effects of the pain medication. "Stay with me."

As I slip into the embrace of unconsciousness, I strain to hear his response. Darkness claims me before I can make out his words, leaving me wondering if he'll be here when I wake, or if the pain of our shared loss will drive him away forever.

The last coherent thought I have is of the baby we've lost, and the future that slipped away with it.

Chapter Forty-Nine

Mindy

"Babe, I'm running super-late," Betty's voice crackles through the phone, barely audible over the chorus of honking cars. "I'm stuck in traffic like you wouldn't believe."

I lower myself onto a nearby benchin the courtyard of St. Mary's Hospital and place my suitcase by my side. I've just been discharged and waiting for Betty to pick me up. She’s doing me a huge favor. She just left the office after a long day of work and it’s rush hour in New York City, with tens of thousands of commuters trying to make their way home.

Looks like it's going to be a long wait.

I shift uncomfortably on the bench, trying not to aggravate my healing wound. Looking around at the lush greenery and blooming flowers in the hospital courtyard, I try to distract myself from the ache in my body and in my heart.I know my body will heal, but not my soul. This is a wound I will carry with me till the day I die.

As I sit here, I see other patients taking a stroll in the hospital gardens with their loved ones. It's a beautiful day - sunny and full of life. The birds are chirping and the flowers are blooming.Yet here I am, feeling like the world has stopped after losing my baby. Except it hasn't. Life just goes on and we all have to drag with us the scars of yesterday.

Adapt and survive, Mindy.

It’s the only thing you can do.

It’s what got you this far.

"Miss Williams, everything seems to be going well," the doctor reassured me during his final visit last night. "Your body will need a few weeks to fully heal, but you’ll be alright. And needless to say, you’ll have to be very careful with sex for a while."

“With Maron gone, that shouldn’t be a problem,” I thought bitterly to myself.

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