Page 108 of Ruthless Lullaby

Mom's last words echo in my mind: ‘You'll be the best mother.’ I want to believe her, but right now, it feels like an impossible task. Yet, as I sit here, caught between the mother I've lost and the little soul I’m bringing to life, I feel a flicker of something. It’s not quite hope - not yet. But maybe… purpose. A reason to keep breathing, to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

I don’t know how I’ll do it. I don’t even know if I’m strong enough. But for this baby, and for the grandmother they'll never meet - I know I have to try.

Chapter Forty-One

Maron

I wake up with the mother of all hungovers.

It takes a few minutes to realize that I’m still alive, still breathing. I grunt as I drag myself off the ruined couch and slump into the remains of my chair. The throbbing headache hits me with a fucking vengeance.

“Where the hell is Mindy?”is my first thought. But I quickly realize that she bailed on me, only leaving a crappy note. My second thought is,“Is she shacked up with Maurice?"My anger surges again. I quickly remember why I drank myself to oblivion earlier today.

Blyad!

I rub my eyes and stare out the window. Darkness stares back at me. It’s fucking nighttime, which means I must have been out for hours. On a whim, pull up the screen and check my half-brother on the CCTV. Maurice is still at his desk, making a phone call. I turn on the volume. "Yes, Mr. Shirkov," he says. "Glad to hear she’s doing well."

Good. At least the Shirkov shit is getting fixed up.

Blinking away the fog, I glance at my desk and see the fake marriage contract lying there. “Fuck,” I mutter, my head pounding like a jackhammer. Impulsively, I reach across, snatchthe folder, and tear the contract into tiny shreds. When I'm done, I scatter the pieces across the floor of my office.

Then something hits me with the force of a train.

Mindy's got a tracker on her phone.

How the hell did I forget about that? I fumble for my phone, my fingers clumsy as I dial Pavel's number. "Pavel," I bark, my words slurring together. "Send me the history of Mindy's whereabouts. Now."

There's a pause on the other end of the line. "You okay, boss?" Pavel asks. "You sound irritated."

I let out a humorless laugh. "Not irritated. Hungover. Just get me what I asked for."

Without waiting for a response, I end the call and toss my phone onto the couch. I force myself to my feet, swaying slightly as I make my way to the bathroom, and into the shower.

The ice-cold water hits me like a slap to the face, but it does little to numb the pain that's eating away at my insides. Images of Mindy flash through my mind. Her soft skin, her gentle touch. My body and my mind ache for her. It’s a physical need no amount of alcohol can dull.

I try to take matters into my own hands again by jerking off to her thought but it’s fucking pointless. It will never bring me the relief I crave. It's her I want, her I need, like a fucking drug I can't quit.

In a last-ditch effort to clear my head, I decide to go to my home gym. I attack the weights with a vengeance, pushing my body to its limits. The burn in my muscles, the sweat pouring down my face, are all a welcome distraction from thechaos plaguing my mind. By the time I finish my workout, I'm exhausted, and the pain has dulled to a manageable throb.

I’m still in the gym when a notification pings on my phone. Pavel's message with Mindy's location history. Good. But I'm not going to look at it just yet. First, I’m going to pay a short visit to my mother. It's been days since I last saw her, which is out of the ordinary for me.

I head downstairs where her apartment is located and pop my head into her room. “Mama?”

"Maron, my dear boy," she greets me, invitingly. Her eyes light up as I enter the room. "Have you seen Cordelia? I've been looking all over for her."

Fuck.

Here we go again.

I swallow my frustration and force a smile. "Not yet, Mom. But I'm sure she'll be back soon."

"Oh, I hope so," she sighs, her brow furrowing. "I miss her so much. Where could she be?"

"I don't know, Mom. But I promise I'll find her, okay? Don't you worry."

She nods, her gaze starting to drift. "Maron, have you seen Cordelia?" she repeats the question. "I've been looking all over for her."

I close my eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath. "Not yet, Mom. But she'll be back soon, I'm sure."

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