Page 104 of Ruthless Lullaby

I know Alexis is waiting outside and I have to brace myself to face her. I won’t ask my sister how long she was standing in the doorway, listening to everything I told Mom. I don’t even know if I can care anymore. I’m exhausted from our pointless arguments, her constant blaming.

I wait a few more minutes in silence. Once my nervous system feels more balanced and I’m certain that Mom is asleep, I force myself to stand up and walk out of the room.

Just as I thought, Alexis stands in the hallway. Her arms are crossed, her face set in a scowl. I heave a weary sigh, steeling myself for another confrontation, before I nod towards the hospital canteen.

"Let's go sit down somewhere," I tell her. My voice comes out as flat and emotionless. "There’s something I need to discuss with you."

She nods and follows me in silence. The only thing that betrays that she’s following me is the sound of her heels clicking on the linoleum floor. We make our way to a secluded corner of the cafeteria and slide into a booth, taking a seat across from each other.

"If there’s something you’d like to say, say it," she says in a typical Alexis manner. "I don't have all day. I came here to visit Mom, not to listen to your life’s shit."

I decide to just let it slide. I really don’t have the energy for this right now. I take a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves.

"It’s about Mom, Alexis," I croak out. My voice comes out as exhausted, even to my own ears. "She won’t be around much longer." I gulp. "I spoke to Dr. Walker just before I saw her. He asked us to consider organ donation, after,” my voice cracks, “after she’s gone."

My sister’s eyes widen, her face twists into a mask of disgust. "Are you fucking kidding me, Mindy?" she hisses, leaning forward across the table. "You want to let some stranger cut up our mother's body and take her organs out?"

I feel my anger rising. If only we could have a civilized conversation. Just for once. "It's not about what I want, Alexis.” I keep my tone flat. “It's about what Mom would want. About giving someone else a chance at life if they can't-"

Alexis cuts me off with a sharp, bitter laugh. "Oh, please. Don't try to play the noble martyr here, Mindy. We both know you're just trying to ease your own guilt. You're trying to forgive yourself for causing that accident that led to this. Do you really think that donating our mother's organs will ease your guilt?" She gives me a look that could kill. "Never. I won’t sign it. Just so you know."

Not that it should surprise me anymore, but the venom in her words is still like a slap in the face. I bury my face in my hands for a moment, struggling to steady myself before I can respond. When I finally lift my head, I meet my sister’s gaze with newfound resolve.

"You know what, Alexis? I'm not going to fight with you about this. Not when Mom is dying. I just wanted to let you know that Dr. Walker approached me about this. That's all." She opens her mouth to argue, but I hold up a hand to silence her. "I mean it. I'm done trying to reason with you. I have tried enough times to make you see things from anyone's perspective but your own. It never happened."

"Mindy, come on. Let’s cut the shit," Alexis says, her tone changing from mocking to serious. "I'm short on cash and I need some ASAP."

I narrow my eyes at her. "Join the club, sis," I retort. "I burned through all my savings to keep Mom alive while you've been off chasing your next high."

"Listen, Mindy.” She leans forward and lowers her voice to a whisper, as if she’s making sure that nobody hears us. “I owe my dealer and believe me, he's not too happy about it."

I glare at her in disbelief. What addiction can do to a person is beyond me. The problem is, I’m starting to run out of sympathy.

"I’m not your bank, Alexis, and neither is Mom,” I reply. “We are in the goddamn hospital. This is where our mother is taking her last breaths." Suddenly, a thought hits me and I furrow my brow. "Tell me you didn't come here to beg Mom for money."

She shrinks back and her expression visibly changes. "No, no way. But... now that you mention it..." Her voice falters. "I'm in deep shit, Mindy. Deeper than I've ever been. I owe some dangerous people a shitload of cash." She pauses, pretending to mull something over. "I guess if we have to sell Mom's kidney to pay them off, then so be it. She won't need it anymore, right?"

I stare at my sister in disbelief. I can’t believe she just suggested this. All because she wants her next fix. Every time I think she can’t get any worse, she proves me wrong.

"Do you even hear yourself?” I blurt. “You’re thinking aboutsellingour mother’s organs for money? What kind of person have you become?”

Alexis smirks, a twisted hint of amusement showing in her eyes. "Don't be ridiculous, Mindy. You said it yourself. She won’t be needing that stuff anymore. And I know some people who would pay top dollar for a few healthy organs."

There’s addicted Alexis for you. It’s like talking to a stone wall. She would literally sell her own mother for a wad of cash, so she can pay her dealer and get her next fix. I can’t believe that this is the only conversation I can have with her. This one and how everything is my fault. Here I sit with my sister, trying to have a civil discussion about what to do after our mother is gone, and this is what comes out of it.

"You're out of your mind, Alexis. You need help." I tell her quietly, not knowing what else to say. "Let’s just end this conversation."

My sister's eyes narrow, a dangerous glint flashing in them as she leans forward. Her voice drops to a low, menacing tone. "You know what, Mindy? I think it's time we stop playing games and get down to business."

I frown. "What do you mean?"

"Listen up, Mindy. I heard everything you told Mom. You’re knocked up by a guy, who happens to be loaded with cash. And since we're family, it’s only normal that you share some of the wealth with me, right?"

I gape at her, my mouth opening and closing. Is she seriously doing this? "What the hell are you saying, Alexis?" I grit out. My palms are itching, and I suddenly feel like I want to slap her.

"Oh, come on, don't play dumb. You're carrying Maron's kid but still dating Maurice. And from what I hear, the two are brothers. Talk about a hot story."

My jaw drops in shock.

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