Page 54 of Ruthless Serenade

"I’m following this twelve-step program," she explains after a pause. "I’ve reached the part where I need to make amends with all the people I’ve wronged. And… well, you’re the first person I wanted to reach out to, Mindy."

I feel my throat clog up with a mix of old hurt and newfound sympathy. "Look Lex, I appreciate this, but what you did and the things you said… they’re not that easy to get over."

"I understand," she interjects. "I know I blamed you for everything. For the accident, for Emily, Mom, and my addiction. I can never forgive myself for the things I said to you. It was a wicked and unfair thing to do. I can see that now." There’s a pause, and I can hear her taking a deep breath. "The pills… they had a way of twisting my emotions, making me say and do things that were… I was not myself, Mindy." She pauses again. "But I know that’s no excuse for the things I’ve done. Including what I did to you and Maron."

There’s a long silence on the other end of the line and a part of me begins to wonder if she hung up on me. "Alexis?" I ask. "Are you still there?"

"Yeah." When she speaks again, her voice comes out hoarse. "Look, I don’t expect you to forgive me. I just want to say sorry. For everything. I was in a very dark place, and I took it all out on you."

I lean against the counter, barely believing that we’re having this conversation. I never would have expected this to happen. "Thank you, Alexis. I tell her quietly. "I… I think I need some time to process this, but thank you."

"Of course," she continues and inhales deeply. "You know… I’ve been seeing this therapist…"

A therapist?

Alexis seeing a therapist?

"Wait… a therapist?" I blurt, unable to mask my shock. " For real? Like, you’re actually going to therapy?"

"Sure," she replies. "I see her every week. Her name is Dr. Rachel Anderson. She’s well-known in the industry. Specializes in addictions. You can Google her."

"I must say, Lex, that’s… unexpected," I tell her. "I never thought you’d be in therapy. I’m happy for you."

"Thanks," Alexis says, sounding relieved. "Rachel’s been really helpful. Besides my rehab program, she also encouraged me to call you… so I did."

A fleeting thought crosses my mind. Would she have called me if it wasn’t for this Rachel-person? I don’t ask her that question, though. For now, I just want to feel grateful for the civilized conversation I get to have with my sister for the first time since the accident that took Emily from us. Which was almost ten years ago.

"I’m glad you’re getting help, Lex," I tell her, not really knowing what else to say to her. As much as I’m happy for her progress, the wounds she caused run so deep that it takes a lot more than a phone call to heal them.

There’s another pause at her end of the line. When she speaks again, her voice sounds tentative. "You know, I was hoping… that maybe one day I could be a real auntie to Sharon. I know I haven’t been there for her, and I want to make things right."

I hesitate. Letting her close to Sharon after all the things she’s said and done is a hard pill to swallow. But then again, I want to give my sister the benefit of doubt. And I want Sharon to have an auntie. I just can’t trust the auntie yet. "Maybe with time, Lex. I hope we can make it happen."

"Thanks, sis. That’s all I need for now. A chance to make things right with the family I lost." I can hear genuine gratitude in her voice but there’s also hesitation. I know there’s something else she wants to tell me, so I wait. "Actually," she begins, her voice coming out cautious. "I will be allowed to leave the rehab facility for a few hours every day from next week. Would it be okay if… if I came to visit sometime?"

I take a deep breath, still not sure how to feel about this. This is a big step for both of us. A very big one. But then again, maybe a coffee won’t hurt. It’s obvious that she’s trying and that’s making me hopeful. "Alright, Lex. Let me know when you’re free."

"I will," she says, sounding like a giant weight just came off her shoulders. "Thank you, Mindy. Really. You don’t know how much this means to me."

"Sure." I pause. "I'm proud of you for getting help. It must have been hard for you."

"Hard but worth it," she whispers, her voice cracking. "I love you, sis."

Those words stir something within me. An indescribable feeling courses through my body and I really don’t know how to respond.

"Talk soon," is all I choke out.

Chapter Twenty-One

Mindy

I hang up the phone I rest against the kitchen counter.

My mind races and my emotions are a jumble. The idea of having my sister visit after all this time is both exciting and terrifying. But more than that, I'm worried about how Sharon will handle it. What if she retreats into silence and refuses to engage at all? I wouldn’t be surprised if it happened. The thought of Alexis and my daughter, the only two people I have left of my family, unable to connect, makes my chest tighten.

You’re getting ahead of yourself, Mindy.

It’s just a visit.

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