Page 31 of Sweet Little Thing

Rage, frustration, and something else pounded in my head. She was the most selfless person I knew. Beulah didn’t deserve this shit life she’d been given, yet she smiled and lived it without complaint. I listened to people bitch about their investments and the pressure their parents put them under by not being able to travel when they wanted or when they fucking deserved. And here was Beulah doing all she could to take care of someone else. Never thinking about herself for one single second, sacrificing itall for her sister, her own comfort not even a concern.

I pointed to the bathtub. “Get in there. Soak. Rest your feet. I’ll get you some ointment and soft socks. For now, go relax and use bubbles. Take a long time. I don’t want. . .”

“But your party. Monique needs me. She gave me shoes that fit. . .”

“Beulah. Don’t. I need you to get your ass in that tub and enjoy a motherfucking bubble bath. A long one where you pamper your feet and stay off them for a while. That, or I’m going to lose my goddamn mind. Fuck my stupid party. There are plenty of people to help.”

She stood there frozen. We stared at one another. Her eyes looked like they were watering. I didn’t think I could take it if she cried. I was holding on by a thread. I wanted to undress her and put her in that tub. To bathe her, touch and smell her. She was impossible not to want. How was I supposed to fight this? I sank further, deeper, and more profoundly into the pull she had on me. Letting it take me because how the hell did I stop it?

“I’m going to get you some things. You’re going to bathe while I’m gone. I’ll be back down in an hour. You just. . .please. . .soak in that tub. Do you have body wash? Bubble bath?”

Beulah shook her head slowly. “I have a bar of soap.”

“Don’t get in there yet. Let me go and get your things. Unless you want me to come down here and see you naked. . .if that’s the case, I won’t argue, go ahead and get in.”

Her cheeks flushed, and she ducked her head. “I’ll wait.”

I was able then to laugh. Not a deep laugh because my heart was hurting so damn much right now that laughing seemed unnatural. “I’ll be right back. Get that other shoe off.”

I didn’t wait for her to try and argue. I went upstairs to find some things that would ease her pain and make Beulah more comfortable. I’d take all that expensive shit Portia had upstairs—the stuff she’d shipped in from France. Beulah could take asmany baths as she wanted.

Chapter

Twenty-Three

Beulah

The smell that filled the room was heavenly. I knew these were Portia’s bath supplies, like the large white, luxurious towel was one from her master bath. I’d been sitting on the bed barefoot when Jasper came back downstairs, carrying a basket full of items. The stuff I needed to mend my feet was piled on top of the basket. He’d handed it to me and said, “Please, Beulah, use all of this.” And that was it. He hadn’t said anything more. He climbed the stairs and left.

I was worried about Monique and Jerry handling the crowd without me. Jasper was clear he didn’t want me up there. I didn’t know how he knew about the shoes for sure, but my guess was Monique told him. She’d not been happy about the situation. Though it wasn’t Jasper’s fault. I was the one who didn’t buy new shoes that fit.

I eased into the water, wincing and exhaling when the warmth covered my feet. I sank down into the bubbles and leaned backagainst the porcelain. I took showers. I’d never soaked in a bath. Not here. I was always in a hurry. When I lived at home, I did. Mom had a bathtub, and every now and then, I’d put some shampoo underneath the running water to make bubbles and enjoy a bath. This reminded me of those times. However, nothing about that was like this. I hadn’t met Jasper then. My mom was still alive, and I was safe. I wasn’t alone, although tonight, for a moment, I hadn’t felt alone. Jasper cared. He’d been upset. He hadn’t wanted me to be in pain. I closed my eyes and listened for the music and footsteps parading around upstairs. I felt guilty about not helping Monique. I hoped Jasper took care of that.

Within minutes, it was quiet. No music and barely any footsteps. There were a few that dwindled to almost nothing, and I wondered if they’d taken the food outside or began to close it down. It was still early, especially for his parties, and I didn’t think they’d be leaving now. Not with hordes of people up there drinking and swimming, mostly naked.

Because of my stubbornness about the shoes, I’d let Jasper down tonight. He’d helped me so much, but I could not keep going in those stupid shoes. Tomorrow I’d buy new ones. I sent the ones Monique gave me back upstairs with Jasper. He didn’t want me leaving this room or walking around tonight.

Within the hour that I soaked the entire upstairs fell silent. The water cooled, so I stepped from the tub, wrapping myself in the towel Jasper brought me. Every time I washed and folded these towels, I wondered how they must feel, enveloping your entire body. They were the softest and fluffiest towels I’d ever seen or touched. I ran the tip of my nose across the delicate cotton and deeply inhaled the scent. This was beyond any nice that I knew. I didn’t need to get used to it, but for the moment, I could enjoy myself.

Getting into my pajamas didn’t seem as appealing as itnormally did before sleep. Still wrapped in Portia’s towel, I indulged a few more minutes. When I took this off, I was washing it and never using one of these again. This wasn’t my life. Towels were for drying yourself and not luxuriating. Wanting and desiring this kind of pampering was a waste of my time and effort. Though for a few seconds more, I pretended it was fine, and I would always remember the feeling.

The moments ticked by, and I finally stood to remove the towel. I went over to the foot of my bed. The suitcase that held my belongings was there. I found some clean panties and the faded pink pajamas I’d had since Momma had given them to me for Christmas when I was sixteen. Heidi had a matching pair. We had our picture taken in front of the tree wearing them. Heidi loved it when momma gave us matching pajamas. She did it every few years, whenever she could afford it, and these were the last ones we’d gotten. I cherished them like they were heirlooms. Sleeping in them brought her close to me.

I packed the bath items back in the basket and put the towel in the washing machine. Then I worked on my feet. The ointment soothed them after I’d soaked, the bath helping immensely, literally sucking out the pain. After that was all taken care of, I looked towards the stairs. Thought about going up there. Then, I stared at my feet, slipping on the socks and doing as Jasper had asked me to do before he left. Not to walk around on them. So, I didn’t move.

The footsteps on the stairs surprised me, and I sat back up from having just laid down as Jasper yelled, “Are you dressed?” I hadn’t expected him again.

“Yes,” I replied, refusing to be embarrassed by my old, faded pajamas. I loved them and didn’t care if they were worn because their memories were intact. What Jasper thought didn’t matter. At least I didn’t want it to. That counted for something, I supposed.

He came around the corner with a tray, holding a cup of tea and a plate of food. He said, “I thought you might be hungry.”

“Thank you, but you’ve got company. You don’t have to keep leaving them to come check on me.”

“Everyone’s gone. I ended it early. Cleared the place out. We have a large portion of leftovers. There’s no need for you to cook the next few days. The caterer left instructions on how to heat things up. But, of course, you know all that.”

Now, I felt even worse. “I’m so sorry, Jasper. I should’ve gotten shoes way before now. I ruined your party and. . .” he sat the tray down on the table beside my bed.

“I didn’t want to have that party. It was pointless and annoying to begin with. I told myself I wanted to have a party. I convinced myself I did. It used to be what I wanted. But lately, things have changed.”

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