Page 132 of Sweet Little Thing

Sleep hadn’t come. I had broken a lamp, shattered a glass, sat with my head in my hands and let the darkness seep in. Taunting me that I had lost her. She didn’t love me. She wasn’t willing to wait for me through this battle for my son. That she’d decided it was too much to become an instant mother figure. She was young. I had been asking a lot.

I kept calling her phone, but it went straight to voicemail. Why hadn’t I put a tracker on her phone? Because you never thought you would need one. You trusted her to love you enough.

Finally, around three, I got a call from Fiona. She never called me. I knew when her name appeared on my screen that this was about Beulah. I stood up and walked out of the conference room filled with my team of lawyers and answered the call.

“She left last night,” Fiona said “I thought about calling then, but she said some things that kept me from it. I wasn’t going to tell you anything. However, I like Beulah, and after thinking about it all night and most of the day. I’m worried about her. She’s alone. She’s left town, she’s on the road by herself, and she’s the most fucking naïve human on the planet. Are you coming back to get her?”

Thoughts of things that could happen to her were terrorizing my thoughts. Did Fiona think I didn’t know it was dangerous? That I wasn’t in fucking Hell right now? That if I had any other choice I would have been there already.

“I can’t come back. I have shit to deal with here. It’s not like Iasked her to leave. She ran without a damn word. No warning.” My teeth clenched. I was reminding myself that I couldn’t drop it all and run after her more than I was explaining myself to Fiona.

“She’s alone out there. I got no fucking sleep because of it,” Fiona snapped.

“Me either,” I snarled. “But she knows what I am dealing with. She knows I can’t leave this. She’s a grown-ass woman, and I can’t force her to be safe.” Saying the words didn’t make me feel any better. If she was in danger, if anything happened to her, I’d never move on in life. It would kill me. But what the hell was I supposed to do? Wills was a child who needed me.

“Actions speak louder than words.” Fiona’s annoyed tone only made me angrier.

“I have done all I could to protect her from the first moment I met her. I busted my ass to give her all she needed. Security, a home, and my motherfucking heart. Right now, I have a kid who needs me—one who has no power to take care of himself. I can’t abandon him because she decided to run off and leave behind all the security I provided for her.” I hung up. My chest felt torn open and every fucking breath I took was agony.

Beulah was out there alone. I didn’t know where she was or why she left. She had to be close by because of Heidi, but Savannah alone at night wasn’t safe either. No city was. I tried like hell to shake off the fear. That she was smart. She’d be safe. But I also knew she’d once planned on sleeping in her car when she left Jasper.

FUCK!

I called her number as I stood outside the conference room. Again, straight to voicemail. Something could have happened to her last night. No one would know. No one was looking for her. The alarm was quickly morphing into full blown panic.

I did the last thing I expected to ever do.

I scrolled down my contact list until I found Jasper’s name. Shewouldn’t want to see him, but I had no other choice. He loved her, too. In his own twisted head. He had cared more for her than anyone else in his life

After four rings, he replied, “Yeah,” his tone made it clear that I was the last person he wanted to talk to. Well, feeling is mutual but she was more important.

“Beulah is gone. I’m in Manhattan, and I can’t leave.” I stopped before I told him more. My secret had to remain one until it was time to fight for my son.

“I expected her to leave eventually. You can’t be what she needs. It’s not your nature.”

His elitist tone made my jaw clench tightly, as rage burned through my veins, but I took it. I needed someone to find Beulah. Make sure she was safe. And Jasper was the only one I knew who would do whatever he had to in order to find her.

“Will you find her? Help her? Please?” I didn’t care that I sounded as if I were pleading because I was.

“Why me?”

“Because I know you loved her, care about her.”

“I still do.”

I closed my eyes tightly, fighting back my stupid jealousy. “Then please, Jasper. Find her and make sure she’s safe.”

“I’ll go. Because of Beulah. Not because of you.” No shit, asshole.

“That’s why I asked,” I replied.

Jasper ended the call, and I sat there staring at the wall in front of me. He’d find her faster than anyone else. He would also use this to his advantage. There was no child he was fighting to get custody of and bring home. Just him. She would be all he had to worry about. A sick fear that she’d have feeling stir up for him again. That she would miss what she had with him. Acid rose in my throat at the thought and I shoved it down.

She wouldn’t do that. Not Beulah. She loved me. I know shedid. My life and what all was coming with it was a lot to take in. I had to show her that we could make it work.

Losing her had been my fear from the beginning. It was why I was terrified to truly allow myself to love her. The power she had over me…and now here we were. My worst nightmare.

To protect her, I had sent another man who loved her too. Sure, Jasper could show her everything she was missing. Give her all his attention, his time, he’d be there with her, he wouldn’t be pulled away…But I couldn’t live knowing she’d needed protecting and I had done nothing. I had to trust that I’d made the right decision—the one that would take care of her. The one that would assure she was safe until I could return and fight for the future I wanted- with her.

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