Page 68 of Sweet Little Thing

Once the food was cleared from my plate and my third glass was almost empty, any awkwardness or uncertainty I felt around Stone was gone. I didn’t need to be so nervous around him. He was honest and he wanted what was best for Jasper. He tookcare of Geraldine. He wasn’t always a bastard. He was a good man deep down.

“No, I’m not, Beulah,” he replied.

I frowned, wondering what he was talking about. Had I said something out loud? “Huh?” I asked, needing clarification.

“I’m cold, hard, indifferent. Don’t confuse my actions for anything more.”

I had said it out loud. He didn’t mention the bastard bit, so I apparently hadn’t said that. Words continued to pour out without my bidding. “I disagree. I’ve seen you with Geraldine. I know you have a heart. You protect her and care for her. You give her that smile that other women never receive. Then there is the way you protect Jasper from himself. You have your problems, but no one helps you or seems to care.”

I snapped my mouth shut, realizing I was saying way too much, and the wine was the reason. I didn’t want him to know that Geraldine talked about him and his life. He’d hate that I knew so much about his personal issues with his parents.

“Gerry and Jasper need me. I don’t need anyone.”

“Everyone needs someone,” I replied.

“No, Beulah. They don’t. Some don’t need another person to hold them together.”

No one was strong enough to need no one. “You need to be needed. You need Geraldine and Jasper to need you. That’s what gives you purpose. Maybe you aren’t weak by needing to be rescued the traditional way. But your being needed by others, that is what saves you.”

As I heard the words coming out of my mouth, I understood him better. Strange how a little Target wine can make you see things you were missing.

Stone stood and picked up both of our plates. “I believe that’s enough wine. Good night, Beulah,” Stone said as he walked inside with the empty plates. I stared at the door as it closedbehind him. My butt was still planted firmly in the chair. I had made a very good observation, and he had dismissed me and walked off. Just like that. Had it angered him? Why did he get to say whatever he wanted and then walk off when something he didn’t like was said?

Was he not allowed to have a weakness? Even if he needed to be strong for someone else? It was still a need. We all had needs.

I stood up quickly, shoving my chair back as I did it. My balance was off somewhat, but I ignored that. I had a mission. He needed to be told that having needs was what made us human. He wasn’t a superhero. It was okay to have weaknesses.

I stalked toward the kitchen with determination. Storming inside ready to make Stone hear me. I was struggling somewhat with balance and my tongue felt a little thick but I was fine otherwise. I barely got inside when I blurted out my point, “It is human to need something. You are a human. Needing to be needed is ALLOWED!” I finished that with my hands firmly planted on my hips as I had to concentrate to focus my vision on Stone.

He was at the sink on the other side of the counter, where he had been rinsing off dishes. We stood there. His eyes locked on mine. No one said a word, and the time felt as if it was slowly ticking by, and Stone was never going to speak. But his gaze held me there. Immobile. He was a little blurry and the room tilted some. The dang wine. One glass would have been plenty.

Just when I began to think we would stand there all night in this staring contest, waiting for the other to break, or me to fall over sideways, he moved. He walked around the bar, and his long strides looked aggressive as he came toward me. I didn’t think he was going to hurt me, although the scowl on his face should probably concern me.

When I thought he would walk right past me, he stopped inches from our bodies touching. I inhaled sharply, preparingfor whatever hard and possibly cruel things he was about to let loose.

“You’re right. It’s human to need. It’s part of our flaw. Or weakness,” he began. His voice was deep and dark. I shivered. “But that’s not a fucking need. It’s part of my life—a part I accepted a long time ago. I need. Yes. I need something I cannot have. That’s what I need, Beulah. What I need and want are two different things.”

His words were like riddles, but he smelled so nice, and the heat from his body was so close that I didn’t care about his confusing words. He could keep speaking riddles; I would keep listening. And smelling.

Stone closed even more of the tiny bit of space left between us. “Right now, I need you to go to your room and lock your door.” His tone was possibly meant to be threatening, but I wasn’t scared. A thrill ran through me. It seemed wine made me like bossy Stone. His telling me what to do and ordering me around was exciting.

He leaned in until his mouth was at my ear. I closed my eyes as the warmth from his breath brushed over my skin. That was really nice.

“Go to your motherfucking room.Now.” He hadn’t needed to raise his voice to get the point across. He was angry. I’d done something. What was it? I tried to remember. I pulled back and looked up at him.

He closed his eyes as if having to look at me was unpleasant. That did sting. I wasn’t numb enough it seemed. He could still slap me without touching me.

“I have asked little of you, Beulah. Do this one fucking thing for me. Please.”

Those were the words that sent me to my room. The words I couldn’t argue with because he had done so much for me. He had asked for nothing from me. He was always there to save thepeople around him. He was tired of my company. Our evening was over.

I backed away then turned having to pause to steady myself before walking to my room. The reminder of the truth. Tonight, hadn’t been the start of something more for us. We weren’t suddenly friends. I was a burden for him that he took on for Jasper’s sake.

If I hadn’t drank so much, I could walk faster. Flee successfully. When I finally reached my door, I rushed inside as a tear rolled down my cheek. It was silly to cry. I couldn’t even pinpoint why I wanted to.

Leaning back against the door I slid down until my bottom hit the floor and I closed my eyes. I was never drinking again.

Stone wasn’t home when I woke up. I had listened for him as I got ready for work but heard nothing. The smell of coffee didn’t linger from the kitchen. When I left my room, I noticed his bedroom door open.

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