Page 63 of Hotter 'N Hell

The first real smile I’d been able to manage in six days felt foreign as it tugged up the corners of my mouth.

“Oh my!” Halo said, her eyes lighting up. “You have the best dimples ever.”

Bane walked up behind her and flicked a lighter and lowered it until the flames began to light the candles. When he was done, Halo held it out toward me.

“Make a wish!” she exclaimed happily.

I didn’t believe in wishes, but for her, I pretended and blew them out. Another round of cheers went through the room, and Bane took the cake from her hands.

“I have something for you, but it’s not in here,” Halo said.

She’d bought me a gift too? This night was just getting odder.

I followed her through the room, holding a fake smile and saying, “Thank you,” to those who wished me a happy birthday.

I rolled my eyes at Than’s comment about being forced to come so I’d better make sure he got extra cake. Locke gave me a chin lift, which was about the extent of his talking to me. Not that I cared. Oz was even here, and he held up two fingers and did a double flash of them, then nodded.

When we reached the patio doors, she opened them and waved a hand for me to go outside. I walked past her and didn’t get far before I saw him. Stopping, I stood there. Not moving. The click of the door closing behind me didn’t even register. I was unable to do anything but stare.

Why was he here?

The burst of joy at seeing his face was being overpowered by the anger inching its way in, along with the pain that had reared its ugly head in full force, throwing off the cover I’d tried to tamp it down with today.

“What are you doing here?” My words held no warmth.

“I came to see you,” he replied, taking a step toward me.

I backed up one, and he stopped.

“No. You don’t get to do that. Show up and act like this is normal or expected. It’s my birthday. I am trying to enjoy it.”Or suffer through it.

“I’m sorry.” Two words that did not fix anything. They didn’t even put a Band-Aid on it.

“Yeah, well, me too.” The bitterness in my tone made him wince.

The white collar standing out in the darkness against the black shirt he wore with jeans mocked me. I thought I hated it.

“When I was a freshman in high school, I met a girl,” he said.

I held up a hand and let out a hard laugh. “Uh, no thank you. I do not want story time about the girl you loved.”

He sighed, closing his eyes briefly, then looked at me. The pleading in his expression got to me, and I hated that too. I didn’t want to be weak around him.

“Please, Saylor. I need you to listen so you can understand.”

“Oh, I understand, Father. I understand that I was your first sexual experience and you wanted more. I told you the truth. I gave you my story. And you used it to send me packing. Not just from you, but also from something I enjoyed. Something that gave me a purpose and I needed that.”

He took another step toward me, and I took one back. We were keeping a distance, thank you very much. I did not want to smell him. It was my birthday, and I didn’t deserve that kind of torture. Speaking of which, Halo had sent me out here. She’d planned the party, and now, Jude was here. I took back all the nice things I’d thought about her. She was on my shit list. So was Gathe. They could all go to hell.

“I know. It has been hard to look at myself in the mirror all week. I don’t want to get up. I sure don’t want to go to my office, where I can see where you’re supposed to be. Where I want you to be. And we will get to that, but I need you to please just let me explain something to you.”

He wanted me to be there. I was foolish, and I was weak, but that one sentence had me caving in. I was going to listen to his love story. Let him take another piece of my soul and shred it. Because he wanted me there.

“Tell me,” I said, scowling.

I already loathed every word that was about to come out of his mouth.

“I met Delana. We were young. She was beautiful, sweet, kind, and I fell in love. She was it for me. I didn’t even look in another girl’s direction. My family was Catholic, but we didn’t really go to church. It was a Christmas and Easter thing we did, but that was it. Delana’s family was different. I went with her to Mass, to youth groups there. I can admit I would rather have spent more time doing other things with her, but it made her happy, and that was all I wanted.”

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