Page 28 of Hotter 'N Hell

Father Jude’s expression made me feel even worse about the lie. He was impressed. Again. By something I hadn’t done.

“You tinted them?” Mena asked, sounding as if she was about to call bullshit on my bullshit.

I nodded. “Yes. I went online and watched some YouTube videos, then bought the tint. It’s a thin film that sticks right on.”

Gathe had better be sure about this. I should have Googled it to make sure.

“Hmph,” Mena said, then thankfully walked back over to the counter, where she had been going through some paperwork.

“That’s smart, and again, wow,” Father Jude said.

Those green eyes of his flashed something so brief, yet it made my heart stutter a bit, and the place between my legs decided to remind me of its existence. As if I needed reminding.

The bell above the door rang, breaking the spell he’d had me under. Quickly jerking my gaze off his, I looked to see who it was, finding an older woman with a humped back. She wore mismatched slippers and a ratty cotton dress with a terry-cloth belt tied around her waist, which looked as if it had come from a bathrobe. She swung her eyes from Mena to me, then to Jude.

“Hello. Welcome,” Father Jude said as he walked over to the lady.

“Yer the priest then?” Her voice crackled from years of cigarette abuse. There were deep wrinkles around her lips as she frowned, scanning Jude from head to toe and back again.

I bit my bottom lip to keep from laughing. I knew exactly what she was thinking.

“And the Vat’ken thinks that’s a good idear?” She had to tilt her head back and shift her body to look him in the eye due to the severity of her curved back.

Jude chuckled good-naturedly. “Well, lucky for me, the Vatican doesn’t make that decision.”

She scrunched her nose. “I ain’t a Cath’lick. Reckon I don’t know the works of it.”

Jude held out his hand. “I’m Father Jude.”

The lady looked at his hand, and then her gaze swung over to me. She studied me, then grinned, showing several missing teeth. “I might not know lot of things about the Cath’licks, but I know that priests don’t have relations. No screwin’ for them. So, seein’ somethin’ as pretty as you makes me wonder ’bout that. Been in here many a time and not once met the priest.” She glanced at Sister Mena and sniffed. “But then it was always jest one of yous here.”

Jude cleared his throat, lowering his outstretched hand when it was clear she wasn’t going to shake it. “I hate that I missed you in the past. The church keeps me busy. How can we help you today?”

Good save, Father.

The woman’s cloudy eyes began to slowly scan the room. I stepped back to get out of her way so she could see everything. A low whistle between her teeth followed.

“This still the free clothes place?” she asked.

“Yes, ma’am,” Jude replied.

She shuffled forward, her eyes darting around to all three of us as she did so. “Smells nice.” She continued farther inside.

“Each rack is organized by size,” I told her.

She swung her eyes to me. “That so?”

I nodded.

“What if’n I don’t know my size?”

I studied her for a moment. She’d be a small if it weren’t for her humped back. Maybe even an extra small.

“Why don’t you come with me to the ladies’ mediums?” I told her. “Are you looking for something specific? A dress, pants, shirts, all three?”

She walked beside me as I led her to the correct rack. “I couldget all three?”

I nodded, not sure if there was a limit, but not caring. I’d pay for the extra if Mena had a fit. And if she tried to say something in front of this lady, I might possibly run and tackle her to the ground.

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