Page 21 of Twisted Obsession

‘I’m sorry, I was driving too fast.’ I held up my empty hands in surrender to the mama. Then I put them inside my trouser pockets. Whatever my destiny might be at the hands of the villagers who looked like they only just managed to scrape a living together, I wouldn’t go like a squealing pig, who begged for his life when they ended me.

‘Giordano?’ I heard a man question my ancestry to the side of me.

‘Si,’ I replied, nodding at him.

I watched as his understanding grew and then as he closed the distance between himself and what could only be his wife and child. He spoke to her quickly in Griko, holding her tightly when at first she fought with him. Then he held her face between his hands as he forced her to look at him as he tried to reason with her.

‘Per favore accetta le mie scuse?’ I’d asked her to accept my apologies.

She pulled her husband’s hands from her face and turned to look at me, once again. I saw the hate in her eyes for me as she struggled with the war inside her. On one hand she wanted me to suffer for what I’d nearly done to her child, and on the other she knew she had to accept my apologies because of my family name.

I walked closer to the man and his family, while pulling out my wallet to recompense her for my selfishness.

I started to hand over a few hundred Euros, pulling my hand back when the husband tried to pocket my guilt money as his own.

Once again, as I looked at the young woman in front of me, I repeated, ‘Accetta le mie scuse?’

‘Si.’ She nodded and I handed over the notes. She stuffed them quickly down the front of a tired, faded looking shirt she was wearing. And with the broken buttons of her shirt straining, down further into the voluminous cavern between her breasts.

‘Grazie.’ I nodded at her and went back to my car.

Never before had I been ashamed of my roots.

I drove away. Just as soon as I’d cleared the village, I once again put my foot to the floor needing to get back home to help to find my baby sister.

Two things bothered me in those final few minutes of driving, as I contemplated my life. One, was how I’d nearly ripped away the life of a small, innocent boy, but it was okay because I was a Giordano and had money. The other, was how much I was beginning to resent how our way of life caused so much continual pain to those I loved.

My thoughts were disconcerting. But the bigger problem was what the hell I was going to do about it.

Finally, I pulled off the tarmac road and was waved onto the start of our family’s land by one of the many soldiers standingguard. Creating a huge amount of dust behind me I sped up the driveway negotiating my way through the many oleanders my mum had planted. Then, turning the wheel sharply, I braked and felt the back end of the car move to the right. As I killed the engine, and in turn heard the suction release as my car door opened, I turned and faced the agonised expression of my elder brother and returned to what needed doing.

Mia.

‘What do you need from me, brother?’ I grabbed hold of his proffered hand and emerged from the car.

Chapter Eleven

Giovanna

Iknew somewhere in the back of my extremely fuzzy head that it was still only the very early hours of the morning. But forcing my sore eyes open, I took a quick look around my room. With surprise, I found I couldn’t find the soft, orange glow emitting from the night light I’d slept with since I was a small child. Anxiety had been my bedfellow since a young age.

With my heart rate accelerating and feeling a little confused, I pushed myself up onto my elbows and shook my head a little, trying to focus on the large space around me.

After only a few seconds, I remembered why I hadn’t followed my usual bedtime routine, and the whole of the previous day flooded back. Sorrow captured me as I recalled what I’d gone to bed to try hard to forget. My papa, my mama, and Nonno.

‘No,’ I whispered into the room. Once again, I sagged down onto my pillows in reaction to the sudden ache of anguish inside my chest. Lifting my hand, I pushed it against my breastbone, trying to curb the spreading claws of pain at the knowledge I would never see nor even speak to my nonno again.

What I’d been trying to run from yesterday evening hadn’t escaped me. As the old saying went, what is meant for you willalways come to you—and right at this minute I comprehended it was true, painfully true. Waves of anxiety took over; my breathing became frantic but no longer productive. And there I lay, alone in the dark. Suddenly, I could hear the calm, methodical voice of my grandfather talking to me in the way I had only ever heard him bestow on me.

‘You are stronger than you think, Giovanna.’ My eyes opened as I began to scan the room for him. But of course, I couldn’t find him. Unexpectedly, my heart warmed as I realised he had spoken the truth. He would always be with me, wherever I found myself. His love and guidance and blind faith would live on inside my head and heart.

And for now, I tried to relax into what he wanted me to hear.

‘You are stronger than you think, Giovanna. I have refused all the marriage offers for you so far, as I wanted you to first become the woman I know is inside there. The same woman you rarely let make an appearance.’I watched in my mind’s eye as his pain fell away as he spoke to me, and I felt lighter.‘I saw her today. I saw her in your smile, I heard her in your laughter, and your zest for life. Don’t shut her away any longer, let her free. I regret I won’t be there to watch you fly, but you must promise me you’ll embrace the one who will, because he’ll be the same one who will catch you when you fall.’

I saw Dante then, an image of him laughing as we’d talked yesterday.

‘Be the woman you keep out of your mama’s reach.’

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